Dreaming into Walls
by FallenShateiel
Summary: PWHP Sometimes expectations can be too much... written way before DH. Hesitating Conclusion.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Dreaming Into Walls.

Rating: (eventually) Nc17

Pairing: PW/ HP

Summary: Sometimes Expectations can be too much.

---------- ----------

There are a couple of reasons why the Weasley family broke as they did.

Harry had seen them as an outside observer to this family of bright redheads. He seen them and made no comment since it wasn't his business.

Respectfully he felt their pain at the curly redheads sudden angry departure. He felt their pain and anguish… yet the more he thought about it to himself. The less it seemed complicated.

When Harry leaves the Dursley's he knows that he won't look back. They won't look at him. He'll have hateful memories that will stay with him for the rest of his life. But the Dursley's won't have that. They'll keep the only son they wanted picture on the wall and forget he even existed.

And that was fine by Harry. He didn't need to have the Dursley's in his life.

But he thinks that with the Weasley's that they do need all of them together.

It feels empty when they walk around and talk and there's no one in the corner disapproving or saying vigils that no one else will agree.

It's not Harry's place to say anything.

---- ----------

There's a slight chill in the room that Harry's sleeping in.

As he turns to find a more comfortable place he wonders if in this small room there are dreams in the walls that no one but Percy could have dreamt.

He wonders if there's not dark secrets that he could steal from the corners of this dark room.

He wonders if there's not a word that he could speak in order to reveal the images of those dreams that are only known to one person.

I _ Would they be dark and painful like his are?_

_Or would they be blank as the snow sparkling in November? /_I 

His pitch black hair is splayed messily on the peach pillow as his green emerald eyes pierce through the darkness of the night.

--- -----

"Only that b Git /I didn't show up for Bill's wedding." Despite the smile that George has on his face the bitterness of his tone is sharp in it's hurt.

Yet the identical redhead grins that same crazy grin.

Harry had never thought that he would be around for the day that the Twins would need to fake their humour.

He turns his head from what could be a slightly awkward situation. Drinking in the coolness of thick milk.

He wonders when the Weasley's turned so cold.

---- -----------

It shouldn't matter to him.

But as he begins his life, without hope for the future. Without family whom he could call upon with his I _hopes, dreams… /_I 

He's seventeen.

He's supposed to be in his final year at Hogwarts.

He's supposed to be the boyfriend of a girl whose presence makes him feel like he has some part of himself together.

But he doesn't have any of that.

Harry Potter believes that the Weasley's deserve some of that.

He believes that the Weasley's deserve to have some part of them together. As they had always been.

However, as he stares into the cracked mirror seeing the blue bruises under his eyes, he realizes that some things won't fix themselves or go away.

Sometimes when things are broken, they'll stay broken until you find some other use for it.

------ --------

When he looks down at his fingers he thinks they are stubby. Neville's fingers are longer even though his hand seems smaller.

He doesn't want them scary long like Voldemort, Dumbledore or Snape.

Percy's pale fingers were long and reminded Harry of a pianist. One that came to his Muggle school when he was eight.

He thought that the music was beautiful and that woman with the talent to make him smile was like one of those angels.

He wonders if angels could exist.

-- -------

He feels like tearing at his skin. With the fork by the plate of food he's yet to touch.

There's no one in the kitchen with him. He only just got back.

He gets this feeling that everyone is thinking he's doing something when he's gone all day.

He gets this pain in his chest when he thinks of telling them he's not doing anything but walking.

I _Walking /I _

He wonders what would happen if he just walked away from it all.

"Oh, is it too cold for you dear?" Mrs. Weasley's eyes are the same brown as Percy's. Just as passionate and compassionate. Or so Harry thinks he remembers.

He smiles, sits up and declares in what sounds like his normal voice.

"It's perfect."

------ ---------

He's tried to tell himself that talking to someone won't help him. Because he's never wanted to talk to anyone…

Not about something like this.

But he wants to have the same thing he had for those two short years.

He wants to have that person who's constant and won't change their views. Thinking that he's a monster.

He's scared.

His eyes tear up at night as he stares at the hidden dreams in the walls and wishes to the Gods that this isn't happening to him.

The warmth of those tears leave stains on the pillow, the salt on his lips become too much as he tries to hold his shudders.

He wants to talk to someone.

Someone who's not going to tell him that's it's going to be alright. Someone who's not going to hold him. Someone who is going to allow him his anger and his selfishness. Someone who will sit there and say nothing as he smashes his head to the table or bites a hole into his arm.

He wishes he wasn't so scared.

----- ----------

"Hello, Percy." Harry's sure that this is completely unexpected.

To both of them.

The brown eyes behind the horn rims are like Mrs. Weasley's in that they never lose their expression. They stay calm even throughout the biggest onslaughts given to them.

Percy's soft chin dips down in a nod and he steps aside.

Harry enters smelling an odd citrus smell.

He doesn't pay any attention to the décor, instead just turns around to face his host.

Harry can see that Percy's back is tense and he's in quite a hyper mode for confrontation.

But Harry's not interested in that.

He just wants to sit. They don't even need to talk right now.

Percy's red curls sway slightly without the gel that surly must hold it in place usually. His body seems more grown up in a soft sky blue shirt and grey trousers. The robes always seemed to billow around him creating this child dressing in his father's work clothes.

Harry wonders if Percy ever did dress up like his dad and go around pretending to be the Minster for Magic.

Harry used to want to be an astronaut.

He wanted to see if Neptune was really that beautiful, and whether such a pretty place could be where all the people who could like him would be.

He told the teacher in class one day and he laughed ruffling his hair even though the other kids said you can't have glasses to be an astronaut.

"Would you like some tea?" Harry nods. There's a couch right behind him. He sits on it as he hears Percy puttering around behind him.

When Percy puts the cup on the coffee table, he says nothing to Harry's tears and soft cries. Takes his place right beside Harry. Listening to soft music on the radio.

---- --------

They sit and don't need to talk. Harry curls up on his side of the couch and watches the shadows dance on the wall as the days go by.

Percy's sometimes there. Though not until later on.

He never locks the door and Harry lets himself in.

He has coffee ready and sometimes a snack when Percy comes in. They sit on the couch and sometimes just listen to the silence.

Harry leaves and goes to the Burrow later on in the evening and does his dance around them. Until bed, where he sits and stares at the walls.

It's a Thursday that has him packing his bags and waiting for the awakening sounds of the Burrow to tell them that he won't be staying.

He doesn't feel conflicted about this.

He doesn't feel guilty as he stares at these walls and thinks of nothing.

He loves the Burrow. The best times of his life were born on this plot of land. The warmest feelings in his heart come from here.

But it's just not for I _right now /I _

Harry knows that no one is going to fully understand.

He also knows that they will give him whatever freedom he needs right now.

---------- ---------

Percy doesn't say anything to Harry when he shows up with his one small bag of belongings.

Just conquers up a pillow and blanket for Harry when he goes to bed.

Harry doesn't have to lie about this being all right. He wouldn't even if he could. When Mrs. Weasley heartbreakingly asked him where he was going to go, he shrugged and leaned over to peck her on the cheeks. He didn't look anyone in the eye and didn't say anything when Ron tried to grab at his arm.

_ I Percy. /I _

Harry knows that Percy doesn't understand all this. They were never close and don't know anything about each other.

But they also know that they don't need to know anything about each other to know that this is fine.

"What would you do?" Harry's hand is muffling his voice as he sits curled into a ball on the side of the couch.

Percy stops his ruffling around with his papers. His head titled thoughtfully to the side as he meets Harry's eyes.

"I would leap, not hesitating with a jump." Harry doesn't say anything continuing to stare at Percy when he turns back to his papers. There's a big curl near the back of his ear that uncurls and curls back.

-- ----------

Harry finds he can't sleep here as well as he thought he could.

Instead of staring into walls he finds himself lost into the chipped corner of the coffee table in front of him.

He wishes he could figure it all out.

But he doesn't know what the question he's being asked is?

He hears Percy's bed springs squeak as he gets up to use the toilet.

He lifts his head for when Percy comes out.

Instead of going back to his room, Percy goes into the kitchen and takes something out of the freezer and the smell of hot chocolate has Harry enamoured.

They sit side by side on the couch breathing in the smell of hot chocolate and slight coldness of the strawberry ice cream Percy brought out.

Harry throws his comforter over both of them. Jumping when he encounter's Percy's icy toes, smiling softly at Percy when he snorts some of the ice cream up his nose.

Near morning Harry ends up following Percy to his bed for the two hours before Percy goes to work.

-------- -----

In the mornings when Harry wakes up he smells in that citrus smell.

He doesn't know where it comes from. He knows it's not from Percy, because Percy smells like the rain and the paper smell of a new book.

He gets up from Percy's bed and goes around to investigate.

This would be the first day that the black haired young man would show a real interest in the apartment.

Looking into every crook and cranny he can find. Seeing that the furniture is mismatched in a tasteful array that reminds him of the Burrow.

He finds that Percy's sloppy when it comes to his paperwork. And his socks.

He sees that Percy loves junk food. His favourite chewy cherry candies, judging by the amount.

He sees that Percy has a small little garden outside his front window.

The radio is Muggle.

But of a really bad model in Harry's opinion.

He finds food to make and creates what he thinks will be a great dinner.

He goes to visit the Burrow on a day that it rains in London and shines in St. Owlery.

He says this to Mrs. Weasley with a nearly forgotten smile. His eyes are softer and the bags under his eyes are no longer something to worry about.

He laughs and smiles and talks in ways that he hasn't been able to for a I _very /I_ long time. He forgets that he is the Boy- Who- Lived and is Just Harry.

Even though his best friends are not there, the day is passed pleasantly.

---- ---

Harry and Percy have gotten to the point where they can talk to each other.

With Percy answering random questions that Harry never really got to ask before.

Harry learns things about politics and a wide range of things he probably would have never thought of knowing.

He sometimes jokes that knowing all this pointless information takes up too much room that could be used for other things.

Percy just quirks an eyebrow.

Which makes Harry laugh.

---- ----

Harry will still have those nights where he can't sleep and he'll stare down the ceiling and wish for something else to happen.

Percy will turn over in his sleep and his breath creates shivers down Harry's spine.

Harry will stare at Percy when he's sleeping. At the soft flutter of those near blonde eyelashes. At the paleness of his skin and the freckles that are not the shocking ones of the other Weasley's.

Sometimes he'll play with one of the curls or run his fingertip on those cherub lips.

If Percy wakes up to this he looks at Harry for moment, before getting up to o to work.

Harry sometimes wonders what would happen if he kissed him.

----- ---

End of Chapter 1.

A/N: I'm feeling cruel… however only to these two… I like to pick on them… there will be a sequel to Ain't it a Shame coming out later on…. Where I will only be a tad bit cruel… yet, in this one I think I will be quite cruel----


	2. Romantic Age

**Romantic Age**

_Age of big smelly cities._

_As described in English Lit_

One of the reasons why Harry may never approach Percy is because he doesn't really know what it is he really wants from Percy.

He's not gay first off.

Never once stared at a guy with any sort-of crush.

Recognized the good looks perhaps. But it was all part of gender appreciation.

Not that Percy's ugly. Not outrageously good looking as Cedric Diggory, Gilderoy Lockhart or what Bill used to look like. In fact he wouldn't even be considered handsomely featured. His looks are softer like a girls, even the feel of it is as soft and cushiony like females.

_Percy._

Even his name brings about an ache that has Harry baffled. After all, Ginny and Cho both brought on an excitement at the bottom of his belly. Yet all Harry gets around Percy is this heart pounding ache that makes him nearly wish he could die…

Or perhaps its not at all romantically inclined after all. Harry is not gay. He's accepting (despite his upbringing) and supports homosexual relationships, but he'd not say he's even ever thought of being with another guy. Yet he's obsessed with the feel of Percy's big red lips. When their chapped Harry wants to lean over to either rip the dead skin or rub them placing the dead skin back to that silk redness.

Harry thinks Percy knows, from the way he's gone over the bends and touched as much of Percy as he can.

He was never like this with Ron, Hermione, Sirius even Mrs. Weasley for Merlin's Sake!

Yet when Percy's near him, he wants just to touch without feeling awkward. However he can't be like that with _anybody._

He rather hates being touched by surprise. If he knows its coming then he rather likes it. He doesn't really like touching people himself, though if he becomes comfortable enough he can somewhat stand it.

Harry would suppose that it comes from the sort of conditioning he was raised in. Though Mrs. Weasley seems to be under the impression that he's starved for the affection.

Percy doesn't come close to him as often as he would like. He adores to have Percy touch, even if its just a hand on the shoulder…

None of Harry's thoughts have been sexual, since he thinks of Percy as a part of the Weasley's. His old thoughts of Ginny came even though he did his best to stop them.

They don't come anymore.

When was the last time Harry's taken a wank? It seems as though its been since before Dumbledore's death.

He feels as though there's really nothing that could make him grow aroused and with want. Indeed there's nothing when he was around Ginny, though Merlin knows she isn't innocent when it comes to petting.

An embarrassing fact was their last petting session (first and last) ended when Ginny had been rubbing his stomach, he was kissing her neck when her hand tried to go under his jeans snagging a few hairs. He jumped up and basically grabbed his clothes and robes walked out of the abandoned classroom without even a glance over his shoulder.

Ginny acted as though the entire thing never happened. Harry made sure that their alone time was only for a few moments, short enough to make out but not to get into heavy petting.

----- ----

Harry thinks that Percy's OCD. He remembers once watching on T.V. a special on all the different disorders. He saw Ron's arachnophobia, and the obsessive-compulsive disorder that reminded him of Percy.

Though he doesn't believe that is completely it. In fact he's just a little ritualistic, and a little obsessive when he can't find something. Harry's surprised to find that Percy's adapted to him being around.

Though this doesn't anything for Harry's new problems. Minor as it is…

Harry likes to be in bed even after Percy's gone to work, rolling over and snuggling his nose in the pillow where the shampoo that smells like herbs that only Neville could identify.

He sometimes kisses the pillow pretending that the force of the pillow against his lips are Percy's lips.

He's a moron.

And he knows it.

---- ------

"Harry!" Long red hair throws themselves in his arms. Grinning wildly behind are both Ron and Hermione.

The raven-haired teen is stunned. His arms don't go around the thin girl hanging off his neck. He really doesn't understand what's going on. After all it is near the end of October and they're to be in school.

There are more grinning people in the room, though Ron's voice comes forth.

"They let us out of school so we can help you out, Harry!"

"Yes. But we still need to keep up with our school work." Hermione bosses, Ron scowls.

"Or we can just go back next Year." Ginny's voice is across his chest.

"Same goes for you Harry" Remus' soft growl comes from the corner of his eye.

He's still shocked. Not knowing what to think. His best friends are back with him, so he should be happy right?

Yet he feels as though something's been taken away, he's stuck in a fork way deciding which way to go.

"So how about supper anyone?" Mrs. Weasley is wiping her hands on her apron, her thinning face have a smile is warm but still only but the shadow of what it once was.

There's people getting up, so many well loved faces of Harry's friends passing him.

He wishes that he'd been given more of a fair warning about his friends being allowed with him.

"Why not Neville or the rest of the D.A.?"

Ron looks a little shocked at the suggestion that Harry might also want the rest of the D.A. to be here.

Harry smiles, reminding himself to talk to Remus about the rest of the D.A. to help. Even Zacharius Smith.

---- -----

The dinner in itself is a loud affair, as always at the Burrow. Something that Harry likes and Percy dislikes. Though he thinks Percy must like it a little. Considering how loud the Muggle radio usually is.

"Harry, why don't Ron and Hermione— and you too Ginny, stay with you at #12 Grimmauld Place?" Mrs. Weasley says this over Ron's questions about the Cannons.

Harry panicks in his head with the fact he hasn't even been to #12 Grimmauld since Sirius' death. Never mind that he's staying at Percy's and doesn't want to leave.

"Sure." Harry cringes. Thinking of a way he could continue to go to Percy's without being confronted with living with an estranged Weasley who would do anything to further his career. As well as the questions on what sort of relationship they have.

Which is the last kind of question that Harry wants to have asked of him.

"… did you hear about Umbridge?" Hermione has an excited look. "She's been demoted, apparently the Minister is doing that to a lot of people who worked to discredit you during Fudge's office."

Harry starts laughing. Along with everyone else.

----- -----

Percy's at his apartment. Sleeping in the couch nursing what looks like a bottle of Smirnoff vodka.

It's around 1 o'clock in the morning; he waited until everyone had fallen asleep at #12 Grimmauld before Apparating to Percy's.

But he never er thought he would meet this on the couch.

"Percy? Percy…" Harry tries to shake him awake. Shaking him so hard that the stupid glasses fall from his face and a grunt comes from those lips.

Harry sighs, fingers playing with the soft strands of a red curl.

"Maybe coffee." He mumbles to himself.

He's in the kitchen puttering around and trying to find something to make coffee with. Even tea would be helpful.

He screams and drops the pot he's holding when arms go around him. He's breathing hard and shaky. Soft breath on his neck create shivers all over his body, and deep painful excitement in his navel, around his ribs, making Harry not want to really bolt.

He remembers the supper, if only a little of this topic. Percy begins to rock side to side with Harry forcing the younger wizard to rock with him. Harry's growing red with the thoughts of Percy's hands suddenly doing what Ginny tried.

Only he wouldn't run.

The nape of his neck feels an high alert as if all of his nerves are centred to that area. There's a floating feeling when his body tenses yet leans back into Percy's arms.

The arms go tighter, a humming in his ear. Harry doesn't know what to do. He thinks that he's supposed to gently peel Percy off of him. Though he doesn't want to…

Percy's humming is soothing. Harry falling into it the movements without a second thought. His own hands resting on Percy's under his ribs. He leans backward and tilts his head for a little more of Percy's cheek on his neck.

Harry doesn't know what it is Percy's humming.

But it reminds him of Greensleeves.

They continue to rock back and froth with each lost in a soft rhythm.

---- -----

"Harry?" Ron looks worried.

Well, as worried as someone can be with food coming out of their mouth.

Harry snaps to attention.

"Nothing, just thinking." He has a sad expression on his face, that he can't see. His eyes look as though they are being tormented.

He's changing. Without his notice.

Hermione and Ginny keep wanting to ask their questions.

_What wrong?_

_How are you feeling?_

_Are you worried?_

_Are you scared…_

Perhaps his entire being is sad. In want for something more than what has been given to him.

Ginny stares at him. Wanting him to notice her. It seems to her that life is now repeating his inattention to her that for years was her curse.

Instead of saying that she puts more sugar in her tea.

---- ------

There's a powerful smell in the cemetery.

Lily Potter 

_**Born:1954**_

_**Died:1981**_

_**Beloved mother, wife, sister and daughter**_

_**James Potter**_

_**Born 1954**_

_**Died:1981**_

_**Beloved father, son and husband**_

Harry never thought he's see his parents' graves.

Maybe he thought they would have been cremated ashes in the air. Placed in the dim sky so memories of them rain down on everybody.

How is it he never thought to come to their graves? He loves them, despite not knowing who they really were.

He thinks about them. Wondering what would have been. And what is.

Sirius, Dumbledore and even the Dursley's (as stupid as the thoughts are) are more in his thoughts than these two people he touched in a time he would never remember.

Their graves are nicely kept. The stones are not worn down as the Tom Riddle Sr. was.

But they are just names sharing the surname Potter.

Nothing more.

"Maybe I should have brought flowers."

Perhaps speaking to the unrecognizable dead will lighten the load of guilt Harry has placed upon himself.

But once again he feels this guilt. The same guild about how Snapes' childhood was, Sirius' death, Dumbledore's death, his dislike for Malfoy, Cedric Diggory's death, his wish for Voldemort to have picked Neville… his fear of the future, his fear of finding Ginny is not what he really wants…

_Percy._

He's guilty for having Percy leaving the Weasley's. His guilt and shame for wanting Percy…

The wind is cold on the side of his face.

Harry wants Percy.

He knows he does, he could feel it all over his body.

He wants Percy to be his. He wants Percy to pay attention to _only him_. He wanted Percy to lose his job so that he would only be home with him…

_Home._

"Where is home?"

His heart is breaking.

What he knows he wants, he never gets. What he thinks he wants is what he gets.

Saved from the Dursley's.

_Save the World._

Given friends.

_Enemies and crazy admirers._

Told his parents weren't unemployable alcoholics.

_He doesn't remember the night he watched them die._

Dumbledore's trust.

_He led him to his death._

This time he's going to be more specific in his wishes.

He wants Percy Weasley. Percy Weasley to belong to Harry Potter. He wants him to not have any changes from what Percy has been to him since the first night he was given tea in his apartment. He wants him as a lover, he doesn't want to feel shame. Not with work, family or friends….

Will he get it?

"Are you disappointed?" There are cold tears at the ends of his eyes. His voice fades out, unheard over the leaves falling in the wind.

He's in want of a male lover.

He never thought he wanted that.

----- -------

A/N: I think I overdid this. The whole angst of it just kinda continues.

Though I do wonder if my descriptions are good. Something which, whoever read this can critsize me on ;)


	3. Insomnia

Chapt. 3 Insomnia When the bed of sleep 

_thought to rest _

_in my eye_

_it saw the eyelashes _

_and flew away_

_for fear of nets._

_Abu Anvir ibn al-Harmarrah_

When Harry was younger and in forced solitude he realized that he liked to be alone with himself.

Not thinking of anything.

He likes to do that. Thinking of nothing but still thinking of everything at once.

For some reason over the years its been hard to find that quiet alone time.

Even now, if he's not with the reunited DA or Order, he's either thinking about being with Percy or _actually _being with Percy.

That's the extent of what he does when he's not fighting about the war. Ron and him got into an argument about where he goes at night (sometimes during the day, Percy's job loss has Harry even more possessive).

Percy himself looks lost. In the past week he's gone from shopping sprees, to alcohol, to junk food, to throwing everything out but the kitchen table, couch, radio and his bed.

He's told Harry that he's going to adopt the minimalist lifestyle,

"If you think about it, materialism is what ended the relatively peaceful life we had before material good greed."

"Hasn't greed always been around?"

"…"

"Perce?"

"Materialism never really existed because most people worked too hard in their daily lives not caring about the things they had."

"What about the rich?"

Percy's cheek twitches.

"I was, nor ever will be rich."

---- ------

Percy smiled.

Not a half smile.

His teeth were showing, a nice colour that is neither yellow nor white. His full lips stretched, his eyes shining…

It was Percy's smile that killed Harry.

Not that Percy knows it. He had turned away after his greeting smile to Harry. Cooking this vegetable stew his new minimalist lifestyle has allowed him to fall in love with.

Harry's been overtired with his fighting with friends and his stress at not having a plan to start on the Horcrux problem.

With Percy's smile all Harry wanted to do was kiss Percy, wanted to throw himself to the point of grinding obscenely against Percy.

He was breathing hard but Percy couldn't hear him over the radio or the bubbling stew.

Harry could feel all his blood pump to his **very** noticeable arousal. His flush cheeks and open mouth perfected to look of want Percy generated from him.

--- -----

Harry's locked himself in the bathroom.

He started water in the bath to cover noise. He's tried the showerhead but he's shaking too bad to actually turn on the nozzle.

He ripped his shirt trying to get it off. There is a cut on his index finger from his zipper. But he is trying to get his hand around his arousal biting his lip and growling in frustration.

Percy knocks on the door,

"Supper's ready when you're done."

This has Harry grabbing the nozzle yanking and then grabbing at himself and thinking,

_Percy's out there._

_My Percy is out there, he could be in here…_

Harry moves his hand as fast as he can while still rubbing his thumb on the head. The glands are over sensitive as the warm water goes over his hunched back.

He's panting. The only thing on his mind being Percy's smile, eyes, his hair all tangled in curls on his pillow…

_Flushed cheeks._

He comes with a loud groan, his angry arousal pulsating in his tight grip.

Tiles are cold against his back as he shrugs back.

_Percy was out there._

Harry closes his eyes.

Breathing hard.

--- -----

"Hermione, what makes you think that there aren't already seven Horcruxes?"

They are sitting in the #12 Grimmauld kitchen reading more of the Dark books than anyone thought the two teenagers should.

"Because remember what the lessons with Dumbledore were about?" Hermione blows softly on the tea in front of her.

Harry tilts his head.

"Voldemort was going to make you his seventh. He's still looking to do that." Hermione looks straight in his eyes.

"What if… wh—" Hermione shakes her head.

"You are not Voldemort, I refuse to believe he made you a Horcrux."

"Hermione, I've told you what Dumbledore said to you about Voldemort's power being sucked into me…" His sad green eyes bear witness to tortured thoughts.

"There could be a number of reasons, Harry. But his soul inside of you is not possible." Hermione doesn't bother to smile. "No living animal can suck the soul of another."

"Dementors?"

"They're not alive. Just as Inferius are not alive. Just remembrance of what once was." Hermione sighed. "Granted Dementors are what we know next to nothing about."

Ron and Ginny show up along with Luna, Dean, Seamus and Neville. Ron grins,

"The others are coming later."

Harry smiles at the thought of all the DA together. Hermione at the thought of _faster_ research.

---- -----

With Percy's new minimalist lifestyle, Harry's found it hard not to start buying presents Percy would like.

But the one thing that infiltrated the system is books.

So that what he brings him.

He doesn't know what Percy's read or hasn't read, so he takes a stab at what he thinks are Muggle classics.

_Divine Comedy, The Prince, Tale of Two Cities, _and history books on Muggles. Well, OK he got _Anne Frank_ but he didn't know, doesn't know.

Percy accepted with no hassle. Reading _The Prince_ first. He asked if the Muggles had a library.

"Yeah, a huge one." Harry just had to see if he would be on the receiving end of another brilliant grin.

Percy nodded, eyebrows knotted in thought.

Harry was a little upset he had to make supper (11:00 pm) that night while Percy read.

Books are seriously taking over his life.

--- -----

Neville seems sadder.

He's lost too much weight since Harry last saw him. He talks too quiet or not at all.

It makes Harry sad to think Neville won't tell him what is wrong.

Harry would probably tell Neville (only him) about Percy.

The other boy with his sad eyes, gentle and broken hearted.

Harry wonders if he's sad his parents, are in St. Mungo's on top of that his Grandmother, is looking in bad health as well.

Or is it the War?

Harry spends moments where he thinks of his and Neville's fate. Would he have rather his parents in St. Mungo's as invalids? Or is he fine with having to tempt fate again and again?

Most of the time, he wished that they had picked two different people to play Neville Longbottom and Harry Potter.

---- ------

Harry curls up to Percy. His hand on the chest and the other tucked under him. He rests his cheek near Percy's shoulder. His right leg going over slightly on Percy's.

He doesn't have an erected which is one small miracle.

Percy's sleeping. Unaware of their position. Harry has to get up in an hour to return to #12 Grimmauld anyways.

Harry shifts his leg higher on Percy. Unconsciously doing so. Percy moans and Harry curls up tighter.

Even though Harry can feel Percy's morning arousal he doesn't' rub against it. Just tries to bury his nose into the naked collarbone above his nightshirt.

A slight hum from Percy and sigh from Harry's lips will make this moment stand still in Harry's memories.

This is what he thinks it should be like.

---- -----

"I'm going to be away for a couple of days." His voice is clear even though his eyes are downcast.

Ron stands up looking furious.

"Where are you going!"

Harry's still staring at the ground. His shoulders tense and that frown he gets when he's doing one thing and saying something he needs to do but isn't pleased.

"Ron, everybody. I'm just doing something before we start really searching for the Horcruxes."

Harry leaves the room. Everyone is trying to calm a _very _angry Ron.

--- -----

"The interior may be small, but you said a place with room to move outside?" The sales man has salt and pepper hair. Stern, kind eyes.

Harry nods.

The inside is indeed small. With only a bathroom, bedroom and kitchen/living room.

The outside doesn't have anyone around for miles and property with acres of green grass and trees. Even a little creek.

It will more then expensive, but as he hands the papers signed to the man, he can't help but think its worth it.

---- ---


	4. Without Speaking

p.Chpt. 4 Without Speaking 

"_... One partner will attempt to jinx the other __**without speaking**__. The other will attempt to repel the jinx in __**equal silence**__..."_

_Severus Snape_

_Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince._

When Harry brought Percy to the cottage with acres of fields. Percy stared at Harry without a word.

Harry fidgeted.

"I thought you might like it with that minimalist thing you like."

Harry moved to get Percy some coffee, feeling his heart leap up into his throat when Percy next spoke.

"Harry. What's going on?"

Harry ignores the question for what it might be.

"I just want to keep you safe." He puts two sugars in his own cup. "I have wards placed all over the grounds. I'll give you some of the more basic openings. Others I'll keep just because they involve anyone coming here when not me or you."

He hands Percy his coffee. Hoping Percy will do something like tell him he knows that they're both playing games and kiss Harry…

But life isn't a romance novel.

Besides Harry's perfected his mask just this Weasley has.

Not even _this _can tear down their walls.

Which is aggravating for Harry knows he needs to know if Percy feels at all for him in the way Harry does. Because he needs to know if its hero worship or benefits for a heartless politician.

Percy looks out the window.

"What am I going to do with all that land?"

Harry shrugs. A smile breaking across his face.

--- -----

They move the little of Percy's effects into the cottage. Harry's only connection for the Floo is #12 Grimmauld (not that Percy is aware of it).

Harry's told Percy that if he wants he can find some place that would be safe to hook up.

"Doesn't matter, Harry. I'm sure I could find a job in a village nearby." Percy looks tired when he says that, even though his voice is neutral.

Harry nods. Not wanting to into the matter of him taking care of Percy.

Harry spends all day with Percy.

He even makes their lunch, supper and the snacks in between.

Percy reads, as does Harry. Side by side on the couch in guilt over both of their legs. Harry leaning his shoulder and head on Percy.

Percy reading _Yukon Trail: Calvin and Hobbes _chuckling. Harry's stuck in reading a revised Wizard version of _Orpheus_ to see if any reference to Horcrux occurs.

He sneaks glances at this one comic strip.

**Little Girl:**_ Look, Bird Brain, you wasted this entire week in the library._

_We have to give our report on Monday. You'd better trust your butt over the weekend, or I'm telling the teacher you didn't do any work. Got it?_

…_WELL, WHAT DO YOU SAY?! AM I GETTING THROUGH TO YOU?? THIS IS IMPORTANT_

**Little Boy haring: **_GRONK! GRIBBLE GOK! GAK GORK! GOONK!!_

**Little Boy:** _Our hero regards the strange alien… it seems to be trying to communicate._

Harry breaks into hysterics. Ignoring a huffy redhead when he steals the book.

--- -----

During the time they both go to bed, Harry finds he hadn't thought up bedclothes for himself.

So he's wearing Percy's other pyjamas. Harry fins it's hard not to think of inappropriate thoughts (worse yet when he sneaks peeks at Percy, seeing the hairs that lead _there_).

"Are you very tired?" Harry asks Percy after the redhead yawns loudly.

Percy smiles turns down his side of the bed climbing in. Harry follows suit on the tiny bed that forces him to touch Percy.

Harry tentatively puts his hand on Percy's chest. Then shifts until his hand is on Percy's shoulder.

Percy's other arm comes around to red on Harry's side.

"Nox."

--- ------

Harry has one more day of freedom before he has to go back to #12 Grimmauld and get back to work.

He and Percy wake up, Harry's with a red face when he figures there's no way Percy didn't feel his morning arousal when Harry's leg managed to hike up on him.

Percy, well Harry doesn't know what goes on with Percy.

All he knows is that Percy **has** to know.

However, Harry's determined to relax and just not care Percy, getting sweaty and irritable.

"It has to be done sometime."

"Well, why can't I just get a weed hacker!" Harry hisses as he can't get one out.

"A what?"

"Oh Never mind!"

By the time Percy's finished for the day, Harry wants to kill the man for using his last relaxation day.

"What do you want to eat?" Harry turns to answer that he would (sarcastically) _love _some oregano with weed…

Percy's taken off his shirt, sweat glistening. He has a narrow chest as Harry already knows from sleeping on it the couple of times. He's not fit (not like Harry or all of the other Weasley's) he has a soft tummy that sticks out a little. There's gold mixed with red dusted on his naval and feathered on his chest. Harry's stomach drops hard when he realizes there are no tan marks on the pale pale body…. His breathing quickens when realizes that Percy has hips that stick out to make the tiniest impression of hips.

Harry's body is not at all like that. Tanned with still broadening shoulders, biceps that show elegant strength. His stomach is hard as steel and narrow hips compliment his masculine body.

Harry's nipples are a pink-brown.

Percy are such a soft pink.

But Harry's not the one without his shirt. In fact Harry's staring at Percy's naked half as a starving man stares at food.

Harry blinks when the arms move and the body shakes. He stares up at Percy's face, not daring.

Only to see a shirt being put on.

Harry feels the most painful disappointment try to break his heart.

---- -----

When they ate it was one of those deadly quiet, even though Harry put the radio higher than usual.

By the time they were done eating, Harry bravery to stay had left.

Harry had looked up to say to Percy he'll stop by tomorrow night or even the afternoon if he could.

Percy had been staring at him.

They've locked eyes, and Harry can't imagine being able to look at anyone's brown eyes without seeing Percy.

"Where is Ginny?" His eyes are closed and his voice like ice.

Harry blanches.

"She's with Ron and Hermione." _In Sirius Black's house._

Percy's lips tighten.

Harry looks back on his plate.

"We broke up when Dumbledore died." He doesn't want to answer a question on why. Because at the time there was only one answer. Now there are so many…

"Harry."

Harry looks up even though he doesn't want to.

"What's going on?" Percy's eyes are still closed. But his voice is softer.

Harry lets his eyes drift to the black window.

"I dunno."

--- --------

Harry had planned on going to #12 Grimmauld tonight. But instead, he's going to sleep in Percy's arms.

"Do you remember when you advised me to take Divination?"

"Hm."

"I still hate you for that." Percy's laugh forces Harry's head to bob.

"Was she really that bad? I always found it enjoyable— Ack!"

Harry laughs at Percy's squeak when he pinches his chest.

"You didn't have to hear about your death at every moment, the Great Bat."

"Odd, to me she always resembled a moth. Maybe that rare one with the skull on the back."

Harry laughs.

"She predicted my death as well once."

"Really "

"Yeah. Said it looks as though I were going to fall in a body of water, get stuck in the weeds and drown."

…

"Harry?"

"She told me Voldemort, dragons, grims and poisons."

"Never just one?"

"A different one for each year."

"Pity to waste her talents on the poison one— OUCH!"

Harry burrows his face in closer, smirking.

--- ------

When Harry is about to leave, Percy's taking a shower.

He has had his ear to the door. Wishing he was in there. Wishing he could touch Percy in the way he wants to.

But all he can hear is water.

Harry sighs, goes to the fireplace and takes out his Floo Powder.

"#12 Grimmauld Place!"

--- ------

"Where should we start?" Dean and Hermione apparently have been waiting for Harry to get back to ask him this.

"Well, what seems to be likely the place to keep a Horcrux?"

"Well, rule out Malfoy Manor, or any established Death Eater place, we're not left with much else." Dean says this with not much hope.

"We _know_ that wherever he put it, would have some tie to him somehow." Hermione already showed a list of places she was able to find.

"Orphanage?"

"We could try, but it seems a bit obvious."

"Yeah, but he didn't think anyone would figure it out!" Seamus is the one who thinks they should check every crook and cranny. Even Susan told him there was no time. Which started an argument between Smith and Harry on whether or not the DA should be split into groups.

Harry looks at the list.

Hogwarts 

_Ministry_

_Orphanage_

_--_

"What about that graveyard?" Hermione shakes here had.

"I don't know where that is Harry."

"He used his dad's grave to help him with his potion, also he and his dad shared their name."

"Riddle's a common name. So is Thomas." Harry's getting tired.

"Just find it, and that's where we'll start."

The only good thing about being the boss is that they normally know when to stop pushing your buttons.

He goes into the kitchen, looking in the cupboards to see if there's anything he'd like to eat—

"Who is she?"

Harry hits his head. "Ginny! Warn a guy before you do that!"

Ginny has her arms crossed. The look on her face is remarkably Percy's closed expression.

"I want to know who she is."

"There is no _she_." Harry says this, honestly looking in her fierce eyes.

"I don't believe you. You don't sleep here, you probably don't even have clothes here. You come back to either shower or have already showered." Harry can't help but colour at the comment. "I deserve to know who _she _is!" Her voice is rising and Harry's under the impression that the entire house is listening.

"Ginny! Ther—"

"I WANT TO KNOW!"

PERCY! 

"TELL ME!!"

Harry opens his mouth. Closes it. He walks past her out of the kitchen throwing her hand off of him.

He slams the door behind him as he Apparates.

Harry has to walk a long way to actually get to the cottage. He doesn't tip the wards since they already him just the night before. When Harry makes it to the cottage he can see Percy taking a coffee break with his weeding.

"What are you doing back so soon?" Percy looks slightly concerned. After all, they might not talk about it, but Harry is fighting a Dark Lord.

Harry walks over to where Percy's standing and wraps his arms around the older boy.

"Humour me?" Harry's voice is muffled. Arms around him.

"What?" Percy sounds so genuinely confused.

Harry steps back. He looks at Percy, his facing going impossibly red.

"…ki…kiss me…" Harry's so scared he's trembling.

Why does this have to be so hard? 

Percy blinks.

Harry can't wait.

Their glasses make a clinking noise and Harry's heart is breaking because he knows he just fucked up again..

- --- ---


	5. Happiness

**Chpt. 5.**

_Some cause happiness wherever they go;_

_Others whenever they go._

_Oscar Wilde_

Harry wouldn't have run. But the shocked look on Percy's face wasn't in his favour. So he did indeed turn and ran away from Percy and #12 Grimmauld.

He's sitting in front of a little village church trying to figure out what next.

He'll let Percy keep the cottage, after all reason he bought it was for Percy.

He'll go back to #12 Grimmauld but he'll let tempers cool for a day before he goes back.

The sun is still out, though in the distance there are forming grey clouds. It looks as though either tonight or tomorrow there will be a storm coming.

Harry sighs.

He gets up after awhile playing with the idea of looking around the small graveyard the church has.

However, not a chance considering that nothing looks even the slight bit familiar.

He kicks around rocks and stares at the names on barely legible stones.

F. Anderson, B.Benard… T. Nevy, E. Snape, A. Emers – 

Harry stares in shock at the stone with no remarkable features not even an epigraph.

_E. Snape._

_1931- 1979_

Harry stops any thought. All he can seem to think is that this might be coincidental.

--- -----

"Well, it's definitely her grave." Hermione gives Harry a perplexed look. "How is this going to help?"

"Is there anything on how she died?" Harry has this hopeful expression on his face.

"I'd have to go to the Ministry, and considering its Snape there might not be any chance of the files being open to me." Hermione is trying to stop the blunt of Harry's hope outweighing his reason.

Harry nods. Already trying to figure out how close Snape would be to his mother's grave…

"What about his dad?" Neville's quiet voice breaks through Harry's thoughts.

Harry's thoughtful silence is placed there by his memory of when he had seen into Snapes' memories.

"He could still be alive I suppose." _I doubt it though._

"I could ask Kingsley to get the files when I go home tonight, Hermione." Harry determinedly stays out of the guilt trap Ginny is trying to create.

"Thank you Ginny."

---- -----

It's midnight and he's still sitting in the kitchen deciding whether or not to go against his basic instincts of self-protection and go to see Percy.

He doesn't want to go there and find Percy gone or telling him he'll be gone.

"Harry?" It's Ron. He's in his Cannon p.j.'s. Hair gone wild.

"Yeah." Harry's wide- awake despite feeling tired.

Ron pulls out a chair next to Harry. "What are you still doing here?" Ron yawns.

"I dunno. Just stalling." Harry takes another drink out of the English Breakfast Tea he's learnt to hate.

"Will you tell me?" Ron's voice is quiet, thoughtful and hopeful.

They're quiet for a few minutes.

"I only recently told them." Harry can feel Ron nod next to him.

"That's the hardest part."

They both are lost in their own thoughts.

--- ------

"Apparently she died of cancer." Hermione shakes her head at the fact. " Breast cancer, which was and is very common."

"Breast cancer?" It seems so anti-climatic.

"Yeah, she was in hospital care when it happened."

"When what happened?"

"Her death, Ron!" Hermione is looking very annoyed.

"Oh."

"Harry's is trying to do calculations. Ever since Dumbledore's murder he'd been replaying every conversation they had about Snape.

The biggest thing was when Dumbledore mentioned that Snape reformed a year to Voldemort's fall in '81. The second was that Dumbledore **might** have known Snape heard that bit of the prophecy. The third would be that Dumbledore put his trust completely at Snapes' mercy for the past six years…

Yet Harry's still perplexed by the part in _why_ the trust was there in '80.

It couldn't be Snapes' mother's death… could it?

Harry doesn't think it's likely. After all he only found who Snape's mother was last year after Snape murdered Dumbledore. There was also that memory of that weak woman who cowered in the corner because of her husband.

Despite everything pointing otherwise, Harry believes Snape couldn't have cared for such a weak person.

"Did Snape have any brother's or sisters?" Hermione shakes her head.

"Only child, apparently."

"What about his dad?"

"I can check, but it would still be a long shot."

"When did his dad die?" Hermione knits her eyebrows together.

"It wouldn't say anything about his dad. I'll try to find Muggle identification for him but that may take up to six, seven weeks.

Harry gets out of his chair. "I'll do that. I'm gonna go into the city later on today anyways."

--- -----

Harry James Potter is not a coward in the traditional sense of the word. He doesn't run away forever. He won't start trying to avoid the rest of the world.

But he does become unreasonably afraid of things.

Percy terrifies him.

Bloody terrifies him.

Harry wants to go up to the man and demand that he be snogged, shagged and torn until he screams. But the most he's managed to do was kiss and run.

"Um… Percy?"

The sun is hot outside. Which is strange for the beginning of October. However leaves are falling and the garden path looks ready for winter to come.

Percy is still digging roots and planting the necessary seeds. His back sweating so his white no sleeve shirt sticks to his (brilliant) back. Red curls flying in his face with only the frames of his glasses noticeable.

Percy doesn't speak to him. Instead continues to work.

Harry thinks of the entire dream scenarios he wished for.

…_Percy gets up and kisses him throwing him against the wall of the cottage and frotting against him…_

…_Percy takes off his shirt "I want you…"_

…_Percy stares at him, "We can be together…"_

Harry stands there leaning against a tree. Staring at Percy, dreaming both inappropriate and the dreams of fairy tale romances.

---- ------

"What is this?" Percy's refusing to even look at him. Staring without expression at the wall to his left.

Harry keeps thinking how he's wasted about four hours and it's Friday, and that he'll have to wait for nearly eight weeks for those papers…

"What is what?"

"WHAT IS this, Harry!" Percy's angry. The fierce anger in his eyes, the redness of his face. He's breathing shallowly.

Harry tries not to shake.

Not afraid. Nervous.

"I… I… I don—"

"Yes you do!" The thrown back chair scrapes the floor, Percy's hands on the table.

Harry stares at Percy. Cataloguing every little detail he can into memory. The fullness of his lips, the soft brown of his eyes. Slight oval of his chin…

"I never once wanted to kiss a guy before" Harry laughs. "Never wanted to even be hugged by another guy. Even Ron when he gave me a slap on the back bothered me." He looks at Percy's beautiful hands. "I've never liked _anyone_ to touch me."

"But me?"

"Only when I know you will. One time you hugged me and I wasn't prepared. I was ready to scream." Harry smiles one of his heartbreaking smiles at Percy.

There's a sigh.

"Why?" Percy has purple rings under his eyes.

Harry shrugs.

"I dunno. I just— I enjoy being with you, here at the apartment I can just relax and pretend to not have a care in the world." The tea is stirred enough, though Harry still does it.

"What about my sister?"

"Ginny had two, maybe even three boyfriends before me. She'll have others after." Percy's eyes remind him that perhaps he shouldn't have said this.

"But she's been in love wit—"

"No she wasn't, Perce!" Harry grabs at the arm closest to his reach. "She loved what I represented. She loved the Boy-Who-Lived." Harry squeezes the arm delighting secretly in the feel of it.

"What makes you so sure?" The brown eyes have softened.

"Because, there's never a conversation that is quiet. Never a question that doesn't need an answer." Harry can't help but look eagerly when Percy moves around the table. "There was never a touch that didn't want more. There was never a kiss that didn't have to be explained…" Percy's kneeling right beside his chair.

"Harry. I'm not gay." His voice tears at Harry as the younger man tries to throw himself against the table to gain leverage and run…

"You're not gay either Harry."

"Then why do I want to **fuck **you!" Harry would slap way the hand that grips his chin if he could trust himself that he wouldn't try to break it.

"Harry, desire doesn't define you." Harry stares at Percy's lips.

"…I'm…I'm in love with you." Harry says it so quietly that he barely hears it himself. He's shaking.

There are arms around him. Both of them in an embrace that Harry's too afraid to return.

"Love doesn't have to imply sex." Percy's hands are rubbing his back.

"Stop it!" Harry's insides are cold. He feels as though someone's playing the cruellest prank on him.

The arms go tighter.

"I said 'Let Me Go'!" Harry tries to get out of Percy's grip. He twists and turns trying harder and harder. "LET ME GO!" Harry repeats this in a scream directed to Percy's ear.

He breaks down crying.


	6. Errors, Love, Unlucky Stars

Chpt. 6 My errors my loves my unlucky stars 

_These three things have been my curse._

_My luck and my errors were bad enough_

_But love was the worse._

_-Luis Vaz de Camoes_

Harry hates Percy.

Hates, hates hates Percy Ignatius Weasley.

Even as the older wizard runs his hands down his body to slip onto his skin and rub in what is the most arousing thing that Harry has experienced.

Harry hates Percy when he's brought to the bedroom and laid down as Percy leans over him. Harry hates Percy as he closes his eyes against the sight of his beautiful redhead. He can feel his body on fire as nimble fingers trail his naked torso. His nipples have gone hard from the slightly cool temperature and his stomach hurts from something more painful.

Long fingers are running through the furry part of his lower stomach. Fingers that dip into the bends of his already unzipped jeans as they tug down.

Harry won't cooperate. He doesn't want to have Percy do this because Harry would leave and never –

He sits up and throws a startled Percy off of him.

"I don't—"

"I love you Harry." He refuses to look at Percy.

"No you don't." Harry wants to know why Percy continues to lie to him.

"I do. Harry, why do… do you know how much I do…"

"You're trying to whore yourself to me!" Harry's unspeakably angry with this man.

Percy gets off the floor and starts to follow Harry out of the room. Grabbing the angry teen as Harry tries to do up his pants.

"Har—"

"I _said _I don't believe you!" Harry's trying to get Percy off of him. But the Weasley is adamant.

"I don't want you to leave." Percy's wrapping his arms in what is becoming a normal gesture.

"You already made it clear that there's nothing to going to happen." Harry's trying to get to his shirt.

"I'm sorry! Why can't you just listen—"

"What do you mean? You said 'I'm not gay'!"

"I also said its not always about sex!" Percy's voice is in Harry's ear. Sending goose bumps down his spine.

He's cold without his shirt.

"Percy, I want you. But you don't want me. Now let me **leave**!" Harry wretches himself out of Percy's grasp.

He has his shirt and is pulling it on. He checks to see if he has everything, turns around to tell Percy he's leaving. That the cottage, Harry bought for him and that if Percy needs anything just to send word to his mother or something.

Percy's dishevelled, his glasses smudged and without his shirt as well. He has his red curls all over the place and there are pink spots on his cheeks.

"I lied"

"Lied about what?" Harry rolls his eyes.

"After you leave in the morning, I spend an hour thinking of what you would taste like." The spots go redder. "I sometimes tried to rub you when you were sleeping because you were incoherent of what I was doing. I would taste your neck even though I was afraid of you waking." Percy's eyes are bright. "I would touch myself imagining what it would be like to touch you." Percy's breathing heavily and staring intensely at Harry.

Harry can't believe him. But the words strike him deeply. Percy's right hand has disappeared from his vision, and Harry can only be amazed by where it goes.

Harry glances down to where Percy's hand is in his pants and obviously gripping himself.

"I…I still…I'm leaving." Harry turns around and tries to get the hell out of this place.

"Harry!" They're both crashing to the ground when Percy basically jumps him. Harry tries to roll over and get Percy off of him and Percy suddenly kissing him, his tongue in his mouth, bodies moulding together and groins suddenly aligned and trying to seek some form of release.

Percy's arching, both of their mouths breathing heavily into each other's mouth as they try to open and get their pants out of the way. More kissing and hot flesh upon hot flesh. Harry rolls them over this time. Feeling Percy's curls sweep across his face.

They are both rutting against each other when Harry stops and tries to slow things. He gets off of Percy, even though Percy is still trying to get Harry back on top of him. Harry searches around for their glasses swatting away Percy's hands.

"Harry!" Percy's definitely angry now.

"Hold on!" He finally grabs one pair. Growling when he throws them down to Percy. Who has decided to bring his knees up and wrap his long legs around Harry's waist. Trying to get their groins together again.

Harry puts his glasses on. The focus suddenly makes him disorientated enough that when Percy suddenly surges up to him, he grabs on to Percy, his left hand planting behind Percy to keep balance.

"Percy, wait." Harry rolls his haps and both arousals collide. Throwing his back in a groan Percy reveals a bitten neck that has Harry amazed that _he _did _that._

He is also suddenly aware that his cock is out touching Percy's naked cock as well.

Harry's sweating, licking and tasting the sweat on Percy's neck.

"Hm. Feels good." Harry growls even harder at the words pushing Percy back to the floor as the passion ignites once again. Its uncomfortable to be on the cold floor trying to get off of on each other, with their pants around their thighs. But as Percy's hand goes to their cocks and his one legs frees from his pants—

Harry manages to come, biting hard at Percy's neck. Feeling his release come out and out and out…

Percy's hand is now just pulling at the cock Harry has yet to see. His body tense and neck thrown back, teeth bared.

"uhn… Harry— ah, Har—" There's an arched back and a cry as Percy's red face suddenly screws up, his body trembling and finger nails dig deeply into Harry's back.

Percy's breathing heavily and his leg has fallen from Harry's waist and his body suddenly goes lack on the floor.

Harry's arms give out as he falls hard onto Percy.

"Ouch!"

------ -----

"Surely you don't _have _to go?" Percy's laying on the bed, with his head leaning on his upraised hand glasses sliding off his nose.

Harry shakes his head.

"Hermione's pissed at me already." Percy snorts and flops his head back onto his pillow. "I'll come back later on tonight, yeah?"

"Don't talk like that."

"Like what?" Screwed up again, has he?

"That 'yeah' thing, I've always hated it when people say that." Percy sounds bored, and by the look of that yawn tired too.

"Hm. 'K." Harry squeezes the foot closest to him.

There's quiet as Harry dresses. Not the awkward silence Harry anticipated after what had happened the night before. However, there is none.

Harry is buttoning up his pants when it occurs to him that Percy said some things. Percy frowns at Harry's strange look.

"What?"

"Do you remember what you said last night?"

"Hm?"

"Why did not you ever say anything?" It stumps Harry to know that Percy felt this way when he himself was thinking of stupid dreams when Percy would act on it.

Percy shrugs. His bruised lips capture Harry's attention.

"Why didn't you?"

"I thought it was obvious."

"It was."

Harry sighs and goes to get the rest of this clothes.

---- ------

"Where have you been!" Mrs. Weasley's face is red and her eyes have that sad concern despite the tone of her voice.

Harry colours. "I'm sorry…"

Mrs. Weasley still looks upset but nods.

"Well, I'm glad you're back. I came to check on all of you and I'm cooking a bit supper tomorrow evening. No excuses." She turns to all of them.

"Yes 'M"

---- ------

Percy's fingers are clutching at his hair, pulling to the point its painful.

But Harry continues his wet siege on Percy nice and thick cock. The entire thing fits only a tiny bit after the head makes it into the hot cavern that's Harry's mouth.

"_n..uhnnn… fuck…_" Percy's head is going back and forth, his knees are going tense on either side of Harry.

Harry licks down the side of the shaft, now starting to become impartial to the strong salty taste. He starts to suck on Percy's tight balls, while holding onto Percy's shaft. When he licks back up to start putting that cock back into his mouth, Percy's chanting swearwords over and over. His curls all over the place, his bottom lip bleeding a little.

Harry gently moves his tongue underneath Percy's foreskin, just as Percy did to him not long ago. Smirking his lips stretched across Percy's purpled cock.

---- -----

Harry's throat is still sore. He'd spent 20 minutes coughing after what he and Percy had done. The moron hadn't given him fair warning, and had still laughed about it before trying to kiss Harry.

Then he got a sickened look on his face and said,

"After you do that I'm never going to kiss you." He gives Harry a glass of water before going into the bathroom to wash up.

_Hypocrite_.

But right now Harry's about to enter the Burrow and needs to not think of _where_ and _doing what_ he'd just been.

"Harry!" Another Weasley smiles at him clapping him on the back, his face is more lined his hair more grey.

Harry smiles.

"C'mon, we're eating outside, no room in here!" Harry laughs following Mr. Weasley outside where a long table with tons of seats have been placed.

Everyone, Order and DA are here, one seat beside Hermione and Ron remains open. Close to the middle so that he's with his DA, but also close enough to the adults.

Everyone's lost in their own conversations when Harry sits down.

"How have you been, Harry?" Kingsley's deep voice has Harry startled at first. Then laughing.

"Fine. Yourself?" This starts the conversation with everyone at the table. There's more noise then Harry's ever encountered at the Burrow.

"How's the search going?"

"Alastor! What did I tell you about talking business at this table!" Mrs. Weasley keeps her voice strict despite the smile threatening to break through.

Moody holds his hands up then lets out a barrelling laugh.

Harry turns to ask Lupin how he and Tonks are. He catches Bill's angry eyes. His stare nearly murderous in the hostility. Harry feels this frozen feeling all over his stomach.

His averts his attention back to the other side of the table. Hoping that if he does that he won't see the question he knows is burning in Remus' kind eyes.

"Did you hear about the Weird Sister's break-up?" Harry shakes his head. Listening to all the sordid details.

---- -----

He wishes the night could go on. He hasn't had a chance to be this happy since the Quidditch Game before Dumbledore's murder. Harry hasn't had the chance to experience happiness for such a long time.

"Where are you staying, Harry?" Tonks probably never learnt the art of subtly. Even after Harry's burning red and trying not to feel as ashamed as he does.

"Harry! C'mon let's play a game while we can." Ron has no idea how much he's helped Harry out.

There's a glare from Bill out of the corner of his eye. He tries hard not to be bothered by this display of hostility.

----- ------

Harry leaves the Burrow as soon as he can. Trying hard to get away without any confrontations. Surprisingly he does make it out with no death murders muttered about Percy.

Though judging by Bill's stare it might be the other way around.

He's walking from his Apparation Point outside the cottage. The night is quiet , flies are biting into his skin. But he can handle nearly everything thrown at him from Bill. He might just be upset that Harry didn't smell of his sister…

Actually if he did smell of Ginny he might be dead right now. Maybe its because Harry's closer to Percy now more than anyone could hope to be.

Harry's content at watching Percy through the window reading at the kitchen table with coffee by his elbow.

It's cold outside.

Harry hopes that this is real. That Percy's not jerking him around. That the _beautiful_ redhead (Harry still feels his cheeks redden at his thought of beautiful) _actually_ does feel a little of what Harry suffocates over. (There is little doubt that Percy isn't over the hills mad like Harry.)

Harry gasps at the sudden warm air.

"Oh, I thought you'd be here earlier." Percy is still sitting, page marked by his finger.

Harry had had a couple of glasses of wine. Also a couple of shots of FireWhiskey, courtesy of the Twins.

He's visibly intoxicated, swaying slightly with flushed cheeks and a dry mouth. He swallows with his dry throat and tries hard to act normal.

But does he act _normal _around Percy anyway?

"Do you… do you… um.. anything to drink?" Harry's knee suddenly gives out and he suddenly lurches forward putting all his weight on the counter in front of him.

After what seems like a harrowing escape from fate, Harry looks up to see Percy eyeballing him.

"C'mon. I think I'll help you get to bed and sleep it off." There's a glass of water thrown in front of his face. Harry starts to drink it, while staring at Percy with his red curls and brown eyes that aren't completely disapproving.

Harry's coughing and sputtering forces him to bend forward and Percy steps back. In a drunken craving Harry wraps arms around the taller man's neck and coughs into his neck.

Initially the idea was to kiss Percy. But coughing into the neck and having those arms hold Harry up will be good for now.

When the coughing is over and they're swaying back and forth to music neither of them can hear , Harry finally gets the kiss he wanted.

----- ---

A/N: I can't believe how fluffy that got at the end. And though I would be happy to give them a happy ending. I'm afraid with all good conscience I cannot do that.


	7. Naked I Saw You

Chpt. 7 Naked I saw you 

_Beauty's child._

_I shut my eyes _

_Not to yield._

_I heard your song_

_Call me near_

_I closed my ears_

_Not to hear._

_I tasted your mouth,_

_Sweetest of all_

_I hardened my heart_

_Not to fall._

_I shut my eyes,_

_My ears, I covered;_

_I hardened my heart, _

_Desire I smothered._

_I turned my back _

_On your embrace,_

_To the course I've set_

_I turned my face._

_I turned my face_

_To the course I've set_

_To what I'll do_

_Though it mean death._

_-Patrick Pearse._

"Harry, we still have nearly five weeks to wait for the information about Snape's dad, why do you want to go ahead with the search without a proper starting point." Hermione frowns, "You said yourself that we have no idea where the Horcruxes could be."

"That orphanage." This is a place.

Hermione sighs.

"Have it your way. Voldemort isn't stupid, he wouldn't place it in such a high risk place."

"Aren't there charms to have people avoid or forget when they come close to it?"

"There could be, yes." Hermione looks tired. Harry tries to smile.

"Check tomorrow, I'll ask Ron and maybe Smith."

"Smith?" Hermione looks sceptical.

"He's good at figuring out charms."

"Ah, but hopefully you and Ron don't try to turn him into a _slug_."

Harry pretended to be offended.

After seven he gets up to leave.

"Where do you go?" Hermione's voice is quiet and desperate. Harry's face heats as he ignores the question.

He makes it out of #12 Grimmauld without many strange questioning looks from everyone.

---- -------

To Harry, Percy smells like nothing else. It's male and so _Percy._ He knows that the lemon smell is not from the cologne or deodorant. He can smell lemons under all that maleness and it drives Harry insane trying to figure it out.

He sticks out his tongue to see if he can taste lemons on Percy's pale neck. But all he gets is a shiver and a slight tense in posture.

Percy still tries to read his book while Harry's beside him abandoning all pretext of doing anything not Percy related.

Harry pushes his tongue against the skin, seals his lips over and sucks trying to get a taste.

Nothing but the slight tang of skin, though not as strong as on other parts of Percy.

Percy tries to hold in something, but Harry feels when Percy swallows. It reminds the raven-head that his doing this might actually be giving Percy a _hickey._

He's never done that before, and he's suddenly nervous.

Harry lets go with a wet sounding pop. He sits back adown and slumps, not knowing what to do next.

His thigh is heated by Percy's. That slender leg which is all thigh compared to his. Harry traces the inside of the trousers without thinking. He squeezes, amazed that there is so much he can squeeze unlike with his own.

Percy's breathing deeply. He titled his head when Harry was licking and suckling his neck. Red mark showing. Harry leans over, his weight on Percy's thigh as he stretches to kiss the angry mark.

Percy _actually _moans.

This makes Harry breathe loudly, he feels himself grow very hard, by pressing his hand on the crease that is in between Percy's thigh and pelvis, so is Percy..

Percy's lips are devouring his the tongue in his mouth is filling it, Harry sucks on it, shifting his body so he's straddling Percy.

Hands are squeezing his arse digging into the cleft of his arse, offering him a wedge with jeans on. Tongue in his mouth, his glasses get clanked and tangled with Percy's. The nose piece digs into the side of his eye.

Harry pulls back, but Percy follows. Harry bucks his hips when Percy lets go only to slide off his tongue still suckling.

Harry's breathing, forgetting why he wanted to be let go. He whips off his glasses dropping them to the side of the couch. Percy doesn't let go of Harry's arse, so Harry slowly takes off Percy's glasses.

He wonders if Percy's near-sighted.

Harry's been rocking on Percy's lap, trying to find some sort of way to stimulate his cock.

A sudden image of Harry riding Percy's purpled arousal pops in his mind and he groans. Both in frustration that they can't do something like that, and even more hard at the image.

Harry is taking out Percy's shirt from his trousers, all of it beginning to bunch. He's after the belt buckle and zipper of the pants.

Percy slouches so that he has two rolls on his stomach, his hands going to the clasp of Harry's jeans. His fingers go beneath Harry's briefs waistband, back to his arse where one finger rubs at the crease above his cleft.

Harry bites the corner of his top lip, as he takes Percy's cock out feeling the same cold sensation that he was touching a different (_bigger_) cock, which is warm and full of veins that are squished underneath his fingers. His finger passes to the head where it is even hotter and the slit is moist.

"nn gh…" There is a finger in his arse!

It's not that bad, only that a couple of hairs snagged (mortifying to think of that!) the finger dips in more and Harry wantonly pushes back. Harry sticks his tongue back in Percy's mouth. Hands still on the older wizard's cock. Percy keeps one finger in Harry's arse and brings up his hand, wriggling in between their attached mouths. Harry suckles and licks the fingers like he would the cock in his hand.

Percy's panting as if he's just run a marathon, his fingers leave Harry's mouth as his neck is attacked. Right when Percy finds a place on his neck that has Harry spasming, fingers in his arse.

"Harry… Harry, I need to come…" Percy's breathless voice is against his ear.

Harry nods, squeezes his hand and tries to pump harder, but Percy's bent weird. So he switches hands one pushes against the couch headrest so he's rocking back and forth, while pumping Percy…

Harry is just losing himself in the sensation, small keening noises that perhaps arouse Percy even more and their both screwing up their faces. Percy in an effort to be quiet, Harry in one to keep the cries that want to come out down.

Percy comes, crying out into Harry's collarbone. Harry shifts unbearably excited when he feels wetness on his hand.

He pulls out his own cock and just about melts at the warm semen on his hand touching his cock… within moments Harry screams and collapses on Percy, breathing heavily.

He feels Percy's fingers slip out and trail moistly still on his arse. Percy pulls Harry closer as he lifts them up to a proper seating arrangement.

Harry snuggles up tight as he can on Percy's lap.

He's still aware of lemons, he still doesn't know why.

----------- -----

"Harry are you sure about this?" Ron whispers as they approach the orphanage.

"Yes! Be quiet." Harry and Ron creep as they walk into a building that smells of mould and mildew.

The oddest thing to note is the lack of life in a place like this.

Usually places of this sort become crack houses filled with rats.

Harry has only seen cobwebs that are not spider webs.

"Harry!" Ron's squeak makes Harry snap around, there's something in the corner that glints red…

Harry casts the Alert Charms that Hermione have him to check for curses or hexes.

It detects five, two of them he doesn't know though he can just ask Hermione.

There's a Head Bleeding Curse, a form of reduction curse, the last a stomach acid effect hex.

"We'll go back to see Hermione, 'K?"

Ron's already on the move.

When Harry turns his head he watches the red glint from the corner of his vision as if they were eyes watching him.

--- ---------

"Harry, I've never seen these curses before. And I don't think it'll be safe to go back there." Hermione is pleading with Harry.

Whose eyes are cold and unbreaking.

"We/re going back Hermione. No argument."

Hermione's head is bowed. A slight tilt has her hair all over her face.

"Don't worry, we'll be safe." His hand on her knee is little if any comfort.

---- ------------

Harry doesn't and didn't believe Percy when he said he loved him that night.

After all he only said it so that Harry didn't leave. It hurts that Percy could be like that.

But Harry's hopes are that he can make Percy fall in love with him slowly, like Percy accidentally did with him.

When Percy just holds him without any advances for sex or even any post-coital feeling, Harry thinks he's nearly accomplished this.

His head on Percy's chest. His breathing in sync with Percy's. It allows Harry a feeling of peace.

But it also has Harry wondering how far he plans to go with the sex. After all Percy's a grown man, who even though he's never been in a homosexual relationship (though Harry doesn't know this for a fact.) he'll be expecting full sex.

Harry's not naïve enough to believe Percy won't go after this.

Therein the fact Harry isn't sure about it.

He doesn't want to die a virgin. But he does find the thought of sex in his arse a bit repulsive—

"Is something wrong?" Percy's severe voice is soft.

Harry shakes his head, snuggling closer. The tension in his back won't leave him. Nor the totured look on his face.

_What if he only wants Harry for sex?_


	8. Division of Labour

_**Chpt. 8.**_

Division Of Labour I have problems 

_I know them well_

_They know me well_

_We get on nicely together_

_I let them worry me rent-free_

_Sometimes When I am reading a book _

_I lift my head to give them_

_The look of sustained recognition_

_Sometimes when I'm eating my heart out_

_They lift their heads _

_To look at me and relax._

_-Feyyaz Kayacan_

Hermione's taken to staring at him at long intervals. He doesn't know how to deal with it. Considering he thinks she might know about Percy.

Impossible, all things considered. If Bill and Remus haven't told anyone the likelihood of them telling anyone dulls.

But Harry talks with the rest of the D.A. and tries to see if any information has changed. The Twins act as ambassadors for the Order since Harry, Ron and Hermione are busy with other things.

So far the Order's only been after Death Eater attacks, though from what Fred has said (George is away with Ron and Dean), the Order has a new spy.

Harry's curious about it. But in avoidance of Bill and Remus he won't go and demand to know whom it is.

"Harry?"

"Yeah?"

Hermione leans forward. Harry's shoulder's tense in the spirit that he knows what is going to be asked.

Hermione sharpens her gaze.

"I need you to go talk to Mundungas." She says this forcefully.

Harry's veins run cold.

"Why do I need to talk to that _thief._" He unintentionally hisses the last bit.

"He might know where the locket is."

"Why _me_." He's not happy with this.

Hermione's brown eyes flame.

"Because I said so Harry."

---- -------

Harry wishes he were anywhere but here.

The alleyway is moist and reeks of garbage and urine. It disgusts Harry that he's tracked Mundungas as a drunken bundle in the corner of this alley.

Mundungas grunts as Harry taps him with his boot. Harry taps harder, more and more of his anger at this man seeping out of him.

"'gerroff." Instead Harry kicks harder.

--- -------

In actual fact Harry likes Mundungas. He's a person whose aware of who he is. He's loud, brazen and in full out of control ness of his personality.

There's a rather sense of being around Mundungas that Ron, the Twins and Harry get from the man.

However his lifestyle of a thief from #12 Grimmauld has put a damper on how Harry views the man.

A common thief is what Harry thinks of him. Considering he stole things that belonged to Harry.

Harry also should have known to expect it. When Sirius was alive Mundungas was leering at the silverware.

"'Arry whatchoo want?" The man's eyes are bloodshot, his ginger hair all over the place.

Harry wants to throw a tantrum and demand his stuff back.

However he just locks his jaw and proceeds.

"Did you take and sell a locket?" Harry has a feeling no matter how hard he tries he's going to blow up at this man.

"Might've." Comes Mundungas' mumbled reply.

Obviously he remembers the time Harry first got mad at him.

Harry doesn't realize how hard and cold his eyes become.

"What do you mean _might have_? You either did or didn't!" He tries hard not to raise his voice.

Mundungas looks at though he has a headache. Judging where Harry's found him it seems more than likely.

"Ter be 'onest, 'Arry I dunno what I took.

Harry's quiet.

"Say if you did take it, where would you have tried to sell it?" He's proud he can reason.

Mundungas flops a ratted hat on his head. Squinting his bloodshot eyes on Harry.

"Jimmers, Dogma Stevens or 'aps 'itty."

Harry sighs.

"C'mon, tell this to Hermione."

And don't steal my stuff! 

---- ------

"Where is Ron?" Harry wanted to ask Ron if he wanted to go out flying.

"He Dean and George are still searching. They sent an owl saying they have a lead." Hermione doesn't both looking up from the potion she's making.

"What is this for?" Harry stares into the bubbling mess.

"Ever since you mentioned what happened in the Orphanage I've been meaning to make Healing and Blood Replenishing Potions for the field work." Hermione adds what Harry remembers as bellatok.

"So we keep the stuff on us as a safety precaution?"

"Yes. As well I researched those Dark Art Charms. The one is the kind you want to avoid because it soul sucks." A pause as he starts dicing runespoor hearts. " It's rare and only been used twice since ancient Babylonia, it's a defense that Dark Wizards once used because they hadn't been able to domesticate Dementors."

Harry sometimes thinks that Hermione is more than amazing to be able to retain information like this. That and he'll probably wait to meet another person as efficient as she is.

"Is there any way past it?"

Hermione nods. "There are curse-breakers but that's a trade mostly improvised. You'll be better off to ask Bill about it."

If Hermione had picked that moment to look up she would've seen a horror on his face.

---- -----

"Do you know what I love to eat?" Harry's leaning on Percy outside sitting on the steps.

"Hm?"

"Vanilla flavoured things." Their fingers are intertwined and he plays with them.

"I've always liked strawberry ice cream." Harry laughs.

"I remember from your apartment, and that you try to hid it in the freezer." Percy laughs as well.

"Mother used to think it strange that I would let everyone else have the chocolate but I would hoard the strawberry."

"I know what you mean. She gives me strange looks for drinking vanilla flavoured milkshakes."

-----

Percy kisses him deeply, waking him in the middle of the night.

"What's wrong?" He whispers this in the moonlight. Percy doesn't have his glasses on so close he is to Harry.

Instead of answering there are lips on Harry's neck and a body on top of his.

Percy's fingers are undoing his pyjama top, and Harry can feel Percy's already taken his off. As Harry arches to the kiss on his nipples his fingers trail down Percy's back to his arse, all naked.

"Take off your pants." Percy's fingers are kneading his hips.

Harry starts to pull off his pyjama bottoms. Wriggling against Percy to get them off finally. Percy smashes their lips together again. Sucking his tongue as his body arches.

He wasn't wearing underwear so the feel of his cock rubbing against Percy's _cock_… he can feel Percy's hard cock jab and rub against his. He wraps his legs around Percy.

They grind against each other as Percy continues to suck and nibble on him. The moistness is building and Harry's panting and making obscene noises. He's groaning as the excitement builds in his stomach and his toes curl.

"Harder." He whispers it between clenched teeth into Percy's ear.

Percy does. Harder thrusts leave lines of wetness across his belly. Percy licks his neck and Harry comes…comes and comes…

He's dazed as he lays back feeling Percy grind against his body. Until he eventually shudders and comes with Harry's soft kisses on the lips.

--- -----

When he wakes he feels sticky and gross. Percy still asleep beside him.

His body feels so relaxed and he could nearly hum despite the dried semen all over him.

He leans over to kiss Percy and run his fingers through his curls. Percy hums and curls up in the blankets.

Harry figures he'll only wake him up if he casts a Cleaning Charm. So he heads to the shower. He feels odd to be so naked. But if Percy can do it he can as well.

He hurries to the shower.

It's warm and when he cleans himself he's surprised that he doesn't feel at all filthy, in fact he only feels better and better thinking of Percy's assault last night.

It means he doesn't have to wait for when Percy wants to because he'd definitely _want _to…

He wraps a simple towel around his waist as he steps out of the shower.

If he could see himself in the fogged up mirror he would see the bite marks all over his chest, swollen nipples and lips.

All in all he looks very debauched.

----

A/N: sorry it took so long. I just didn't really feel like writing. More updates, I want everything to be done before the book comes out.


	9. Corinna In Undone

Chpt. 9 Corinna In Undone Darling, each morning a bloodied rose 

_Lures the sunlight in, and shows_

_Her soft, moist and secret part. _

_See now, before you go to bed, _

_Her skirts replaced, her deeper red—_

_A – colour much like yours dear heart._

_Alas, her petals will blow away, _

_Her beauties in a single day_

_Vanish like ashes on the wind._

_O Savage Time! That what we prize_

_Should flatter down before our eyes—_

_Who lso, late or soon, dressed. _

_Then scatter, darling, your caresses _

_While you may, and wear your dresses;_

_Gather roses, gather me—_

_Tomorrow, aching for your charms,_

_Death shall take you in his arms_

_And shatter your virginity._

_Pierre de Ransard._

The one thing that is always in the cupboards are all the sugar cereals Harry never got to eat as a child. Captain Crunch and Froot Loops, he has a particular taste for them.

Percy doesn't like cereal. He doesn't eat anything but toast and drink coffee. He especially hates it when Harry attempts to talk to him while he's eating. Nor does he like kissing him after breakfast ever since he ended up with bits of chewed Froot Loops in his mouth.

Harry thought it was hilarious, apparently it since Percy pulled away and gave a disgusted look.

"I'll be starting a job at a place that sells food this afternoon." Percy curls his fingers around the mug.

Harry watches those lips touch the rim.

"You mean a _grocer_?" The lips are more puffed and swollen as Harry remembers the activities they engaged in that morning.

"Yes. Mr. Kolesar, the interviewer mentioned that it doesn't close until around 10 so I might not be here when you come home." Harry nods. _Home._

"Hm, 'K." Those lips are warm and so able. The way they look stretched…

Percy slams his cup down. "Harry is there something on my face!"

---- -----

"Ron has found one of the Horcruxes." Harry stops in his tracks causing Neville to crash into him.

"Oi!"

Harry ignores Neville to gap at Hermione.

"You tell me _now_? Why not before? I've been here for two hours!" He's rather upset by this.

She rolls her eyes. They have black circles underneath them.

"George just came back and told me." She nods over to where George is standing.

"Why are you wet?" The stocky redhead is soaked, his clothes are plastered to him and there's an awful wet dog smell coming from his corner.

George rolls his eyes. "You're brilliant Chosen One, you really are."

Hermione lays out some papers.

"Apparently Dumbledore knew that he had another Horcrux."

"Why didn't he get rid of it then?" Harry not following Hermione's thought.

"Be quiet and let me finish."

"I'm only—"

"Shut and let me finish! Dean, Ron and George went to Hogwarts asking questions about something sacred or at least something that might has fascinated Tom Riddle. George says they asked all the ghosts and paintings that remembered Riddle. Ron went to go ask the mermaid portrait in the Prefect's Bathroom—" George snorts. "—However though the portrait knew nothing Dean thought that perhaps that the merpeople might know something." George cuts in.

"We spent a day convincing Ron to go down there again." Harry smiles, he doesn't have pleasant memories with the Lake.

"Yes well, they go down and finally talk to the mercheif, who tells them they have nothing of Tom Riddle's nor any student. George asks them if they have any others. Dean puts in if it's a Horcrux. They still claim they have nothing of any living human."

"Dean was the one who asked if anyone dead gave them something." Hermione rolls her eyes.

"It doesn't matter who said it George. Anyways the mercheif replied they have a possession Dumbledore asked them to safe keep until someone requested to see it. When the mercheif asked them to reveal their names he gave it to Ron."

"What was it?" Harry's irritated that he had to hear this story without knowing what the damned thing was.

"That sword you killed that baskilisk with!" George's grin is so wide.

Harry looks around. "Well where is Dean and Ron?" He's rather excited they have found one!

"Ron said he'd try to destroy it. Dean stayed back but I figured I should get back to help Fred out.' George scratches his ear.

Harry can't help but frown.

"How does he plan to do that?" They haven't figured out how to destroy the Horcruxes.

"I don't know. He'll figure out a way." George shrugs says his goodbye and leaves.

Harry frowns at Hermione, who shakes her head.

"Dean's with him, if anything goes wrong they'll come back."

Harry nods.

"So where next?"

--- ------

When Percy finally shows up Harry's in a strange set of mind. He feels torn for his lack of actual evolvement with the Horcruxes, considering he spends all his time with Percy. He doesn't even _think _about the Horcruxes because all he thinks about is Percy.

He thinks he and Percy should have full on sex. Not because he's ready, but because that will lessen one Percy thought. At least the thoughts of wondering what it would be like…

He smiles at Percy's inquiring look. He is after all sitting in the dark.

"How was it?"

---- ------

When Percy puts the plates in the sink, Harry makes up his mind.

He goes into the bathroom and undresses. Even though he has privacy he's rather really embarrassed by what he's doing. He has a knee on the toilet and is bent a little into the bathtub. He runs his fingers over the skin of his anus just like Percy did nearly a month ago.

He has a cloth in his hand wrapped around his finger pressing in. He's biting his lip amazed by the tightness inside; the cloth is wet but still feeling dry. He secures the cloth around two fingers pressing harder twisting his wrist trying to clean…

"You don't need to do that."

Harry squeaks, his knee slipping further across the toilet seat spreading his legs further. He throws the cloth in the bathtub without looking at it and twists his body to stare at Percy.

He's staring at Harry with bright eyes and pink cheeks. His hair has fallen in his face and his lips are parted, his breathing shallow. Harry looks down his tall narrow body to where his longer fingered hand is pressed.

"I want it." Harry doesn't, _can't_ ask Percy to fuck him.

Percy nods and starts undoing his shirt. He backs into the bedroom, where once finished with his shirt he unbuckles.

Harry gets up; feeling exposed and tries to not run away underneath Percy's gaze.

"Come here." Percy hands are running over his shoulders and to his arms where he's pulled flushed against the taller man the red curls tickling his face as his neck is ravaged. He's pushed down the waistline of Percy's trousers.

The redhead turns him and pushes him down on the bed his tongue in Harry's mouth, hand rubbing his sensitive nipple. Harry breaks off moaning.

Harry brings his thigh up to rub on Percy's hips.

"Wait." Percy gets up to take off his trousers. Harry pushes himself up further on the bed. His legs spread and his cock purpled and upright.

Percy crawls in between his legs, his eyes are so dark Harry could nearly call them black. He takes Percy's glasses off and puts them on the side table that he puts his.

"Turn around." Harry shocked at the request and growl but moves to comply.

Percy's draped over him, their heated flesh already warm enough to sweat.

"I've never done this before Harry. Not with another man." He's whispering while he kneads Harry's buttocks, parting them with his thumbs. "Lift up." Harry pushes his knees up and gasps slightly when thumbs press a little into him.

"I keep thinking about this, about how it's going to be. How delicious. Open that drawer beside you. No other side, can you feel the tube? Good hand it to me." Percy has one cold slick finger up Harry, who can feel it and automatically clenches and wriggles. When two go in he's not so bad, but when three do he clenches his teeth and claws the sheets.

"It's going to hurt. But I'll try to make it good." Percy kisses his left buttock as he starts to scissor his fingers. This forces Harry to roll his hips, crying out when one of the fingers connect with that gland. Harry unaware of the fact he's pushing back and impaling himself on Percy's fingers. Head thrown back and he moans and cries out.

Then the fingers are gone and he arches his back keening for more. There are hands clutching his hips holding them still as something very hot, hard and _large_ starts to press into him.

Harry digs his face into the pillow in front of him as he automatically pushes out and Percy pushes in. He can hear the sharp breathing and groans coming from Percy but he's not registering and this feeling of fullness is all up his backside.

Percy's chest is against his spine as the redhead breathes, "I'm in. Harry, I'm inside you."

Harry covers his whimpers and is glad Percy can't see his tears.

Percy starts moving pulling out a little and pushing back in, his fingers hard and painful on Harry's hips. His moans are turning to quiet swearwords. The odd sensation of being full is lessened every time Percy pulls out and so he moves forward but feels it when Percy pushes in faster.

When Percy starts shifting his hips and stabbing into him he can't help but start to cry into the pillow, it is so very painful. But as he tries to vocalize this to Percy the older man hits that gland that has him tensing up and letting out a small scream.

Percy thrusts harder and Harry starts to push back impaling himself with his back arched and filthy sounds coming from his mouth. He's clenching up and Percy's hand is on his cock as the excitement builds in his navel, feeling that odd fullness bringing that stab of pure pleasure.

He's screaming as he's coming and he doesn't know why it's so hot or why he's sweating…

He whimpers pathetically as Percy continues to thrust brutally into him.

When he feels Percy come inside him, he feels used and abused, but strangely wonderful.

--- ------

In the morning Harry feels awkward and can't quite look at Percy in the face.

"Harry?"

"Hm?"

There's an irritated noise.

"Harry if—" Harry cuts him off, knowing the redhead is about to say something he won't like.

"I liked it!" He cringes at himself and forces out more words. " I'm just a little embarrassed…" His cheeks are in flames as he watches a blue Froot Loop expand and lose its colour.

Percy doesn't say anything and Harry finishes breakfast.

When he gets up to leave for Grimmauld Place Percy gives him a kiss that will distract him until he gets to Hermione.

"Have a good day."

---- -----

From the moment Harry walks through the door he knows Hermione has bad news. The look of complete disarray, sleeplessness and suspicious red rimmed eyes force him to tense and wait for the blow.

"Ron's in St. Mungo's" Her voice sounds sore and her eyes are full of pleas for Harry.

_St. Mungo's._

"He tried to get rid of the Horcrux, however it didn't work out as planned. Apparently _incendio_ as well as the other Deactivate charms I gave to everyone doesn't work…" Her brown eyes are sad and the tears are threatening to spill over.

Harry stares at her. The thoughts are not forthcoming because he might be in shock.

He holds her, feeling her arms go around his body and buries himself in the fruit scent that is Hermione, one of his best friends.

--- -----

He's locked himself in the study where the Sword of Gryffindor lays.

There's something about it that when he was twelve he didn't notice the blade doesn't shine nor rust. There isn't a single scratch on it despite the more than a thousand years place on it. There's the Gryffindor emblem whose elaboration is perhaps of excellent craftsmanship if Harry had an eye for that kind of thing.

He inspects it but sees nothing that would indicate Ron managed to do anything.

The handle is made bronze while the base is a likeness to rock. When lifted its light in weight and the blade glides through the air easily handled.

Harry finds though when he touches it there's an odd feeling that goes through his arm and in the core of his body there's an ache.

The only time he has ever remotely felt something like this is when practicing deep magic before he's ready to handle it, such as his Patronus in Third Year.

Not pain but an ache as though there's something in his body that needs to come out.

The handle has neither heat, nor any temperature at all. The harder Harry clenches and thinks of the ache the more the ache becomes something _different_.

It's almost as if it's his magic that is doing it, though he can't release it without some _incantation _or _thought_…

His eyebrows furrows and his green eyes glitter.

What is it about him that can feel the beat of the magic inside the sword?

_"… Harry, not seven Horcruxes: six. The seventh part of his soul, however maimed, resides his regenerated body. That was the part of him that lived a spectral existence for so many years during his exile; without that, he has no self at all. That seventh piece of soul will be the last that anybody wishing to kill Voldemort most attack the piece that lives in his body." _

What if Dumbledore said was correct except for Voldemort keeping his body to be the seventh Horcrux?

After all Harry looks and carries the attributes of Tom Riddle. Has it not been proven with Parseltongue and connected minds?

What if Dumbledore didn't want to contemplate that Harry could possibly stolen a Horcrux from Voldemort or at least half of it when he was a baby?

This would mean that he was the maker and as such it should be easier to kill a Horcrux. Much easier than what Dumbledore had to go through.

Harry turns over the sword. He relaxes his grip and pretends its his wand he's trying to allow the magic flow to.

His lips purse together the ache is shifting to a vacuumed out feeling to the sword that is shaking in his now weakened arm.

He watches with fascination he can feel it when the magic touches it, it shakes and the magic hurts him but he places both hands on the handle both arms shaking, blood pounding in his ears…

Suddenly he drops it and steps back hearing the 'thud' and opens his eyes, the blade is rusting and blackening while the handle is being eaten and there's black tar discharging out—

Harry sits there looking at the metal and black tar on the carpet for well over an hour.

_A Horcrux to kill a Horcrux._

--- -----

A/N: Half Blood Prince pg. 470


	10. Odi Et Amo

**Odi Et Amo**

_**Chpt. 10**_

_I hate __and__ love. Ignorant fish, who wants the fish, who even wants the fly while withering._

_Cattulus_

After he's told Hermione that the Sword is gone she is full of relief and surprise. Oddly enough Harry expected her to finally say that perhaps they should ask the Order for help.

"Neville and you are going to stay together." Hermione has this manic obsessed look in her eyes.

"Neville?" He knows Neville as someone who even when he's scared he's braves it. However, though his abilities have improved vastly, he's still having to think too long for what he thinks is the best incantation.

"He's better at Side-Along Apparation then any of us."

Harry's still bemused, but accepts this. Shaking his head he tiredly says,

"I'll see you tomorrow, I need some sleep." Hermione nods waving him off.

---- ------

The pure anger coming off Percy creates trepidation in Harry. He's afraid of saying something that will further the yelling spree Percy is having.

"—THREE FUCKING DAYS! I DON'T CARE IF YOU GOT BUSY! — I'M SO…" His shoulder are heaving, this slow rising and falling of them enforcing Harry's vision of Mrs. Weasley in the same position.

Harry thinks it would be a bad idea to mention Ron. Besides he privately is happy about this outburst. The redhead would have once just been quiet and not said _anything._

There's a terrible twisted warmth in Harry's chest. Percy's no longer yelling but hissing out the sentences he's already said.

"— I was fuckin' worried! I didn't know where you go! Don't know who you're with…"

Harry hugs Percy, breathing in the soap; strawberry and ink smell that is _Percy_, just because he can.

Percy stiffens but then his arms go around Harry, each hand gripping his shoulders as the body of the older man hold him as tightly as Harry clings to him.

Harry can read as many things in Percy's actions. Enough things that he hides a grin into the neck that he tries to kiss softly.

_I love you._

_--- ----_

Harry suspects he will one day be dyed pink by the sheer force of his blushes.

Percy is not acknowledging them as he undresses watching Harry press the covers tight around his waist.

"Um, can I look at you tonight?" He's mortified at saying these words, but he knows that in the beginning it's painful for him, while for Percy it is a great pleasure.

Hooded brown eyes stare at him; nodding Percy undoes his trousers sliding them past his slight hips and the line of coarse hair by his navel.

Harry's eyes follow to that long thickly veined cock that he's learnt to acquire a taste for. His backside clenches through the unfurling desire in his stomach. His breathing comes hard and in his stomach he feels a sort of pain as Percy comes to his side of the bed and lifts the covers.

Turning even redder at the thought of Percy climbing on top of him. His body trembles slightly. Percy hums as he slides in; Harry moves his legs apart as one of Percy's knees goes in there.

Breathing becomes something more laboured as their skin comes in such close contact. The blankets are around Percy's waist as he leans over Harry on all fours. His red curls falling over his face, close enough so Harry can see him.

Harry runs his hands down the back feeling for muscles he knows Percy doesn't have. He even pushes the blanket down to feel the buttocks that are very round and softer than his.

Percy suddenly pushes himself up and sits back on his knees. He moves Harry's knees on either side of him. Rubbing Harry left knee as the younger man stills and tenses.

"I need to get you ready, don't I?" Harry nods. Humiliating thrums of feeling going through his body as Percy stares at his naked body.

He knows its painful being penetrated but he still _wants _it. He keeps clenching and other than going to his cock, blood seems to rush right _there._

Percy spreads his legs further.

"We need a pillow." Harry grabs the one beside his head.

With his legs tilted up further Percy starts to put some more lubricant on his fingers.

Percy's right hand is playing with Harry's cock, and gathering some of the precome and spreading around. His cold wet fingers tracing from behind his balls to his hole has Harry wriggling around.

Percy's breathing hard, locking eyes with Harry whose silent moans are beginning to come out.

The finger starts to circle Harry's hold pressing in and out slightly further each push. The hand on his cock starts to lightly jerk him off.

A second finger joins that first one,

"Percy?" Harry whispers.

Percy stares at him.

"Faster?" More heat, Percy 's eyes becoming impossibly dark and suddenly those fingers are fucking his arse, and the pain is swift and Harry flinches but Percy's growls allow it to be all right.

Harry adjusts to it, though he's afraid of Percy being _way _too rough when penetrating him.

It's correct for him to fear this because Percy's other hand is gripping his leg tightly. The older man's breathing coming in pants as he tries to gain control. Harry squirms under the intensity of Percy's stare. The fingers withdraw leaving Harry feeling stretched and ready to be taken.

Harry feels ridiculous with his arse propped up like this and Percy staring at it with his swollen lips parted doesn't help.

He has to look away when he sees Percy grabbing his thick cock and steer it to Harry's _tiny_ arseholes. It burns and though he's lubricated it feels as though the hairs, that surround that arse, are being ripped from his skin.

Uncomfortably he can feel Percy shift as he pushes further in. Holding Harry's leg higher by the thigh, breathy moans coming out as he sinks in further.

Harry's breathing catches in his chest as he turns his head and tries not to throw Percy off of him.

Percy starts moving inside of him. Harry hand is on his chest.

"Just… wait…" His eyes are squeezed shut and sweat is coming down his face. His fingers dig into Percy's skin.

Harry shifts his hips, ignoring the gasps that Percy makes.

"Maybe…" Harry grunts and Percy starts moving, the redheads' body shaking. Harry moves with him and the pain dissipates but refuses to disappear completely.

When Percy starts to move around slowly, he hits Harry's prostate. Harry lets out a small pained cry his senses overblown with pleasure.

"Right there!" This is what he was looking for. Letting out small cries as Percy starts to thrust against it. Harry's eyes are still shut as he moves against Percy, hitting _that_ spot.

Percy hooks the back of Harry's knees over his arm as he pushes in harder. Harry opens his eyes to see Percy's mouth contorted into bared teeth as the moans escape him. Bent in half he holds onto Percy's arms and grabs the back of his neck as the thrusts become harder.

Harry is groaning and his arse in on fire with need. He wants to touch his cock but more than that it seems he wants to kiss those lips that are the most beautiful thing in the world to him.

It isn't possible with him bent like this and arching his back every time he feels like his body is singing… instead their tongues just touch each other before Harry becomes a quivering mess, screams, moans coming out of him. Percy goes faster and harder and the seconds of slapping flesh are too much for Harry…

When he comes it's a silent scream he doesn't even realize happening.

----- ----

He can still feel Percy's come all wet in his arse. His arseholes keeps clenching and unclenching, allowing it to seep out. He's still breathing harshly and his entire body is lethargic.

Percy's hot body is stretched out in satiation.

Harry sucks in a breath when he feels a hand on his stomach. Percy is staring at Harry with hooded eyes. Not for the first time Harry finds it strange that they both are nearsighted. However considering most people who wear glasses all the time are…

"Hey." Harry's eyes flutter open

"Hm?" His tired and curls up to tuck his head underneath Percy's chin.

"Shouldn't we get cleaned up?" Harry just replies with another noise. He's too tired and will be damned if he's going to be doing the work.

Percy runs a cold cloth down his body. Their eyes are locked as Percy cleans between Harry's legs; he has a finger in Harry's arse gain. Harry can imagine what is on Percy's finger as he licks it off.

"'m tired." Harry tries hard to articulate.

Percy laughs, warming Harry more. Harry cocks his head to the side his lips swollen; his eyes bright and face full of remnants of sweat.

But Percy leaning over him on one elbow and his other hand, rubbing all over Harry, he looks more than a god to Harry. With his curls all over the place, a visible tooth mark on his neck, scratches on his collarbone and most likely all down his back.

_I love you._

---- -----

Neville is mostly quiet and when he does say something its soft. Harry thinks of Neville as one of the saddest people he has ever met.

"Harry, why here?" Harry shakes his head and smiles at Neville over his shoulder.

"We've been in that house looking for over four hours. We need to check this place out." Harry figures nothing will be found in the garden shed but it is worth a shot.

Neville gives a doubtful look.

It smells of black mould and the tools are rusted with small red spiders crawling over them. There is moistness most probably from the frost that hasn't melted yet. Neville lets out a sneeze.

It seems colder in here than outside, Harry's breaths are like mushroom cloud explosions. He jumps slightly when Neville crashes into an old wheelbarrow. Neville is just standing there with a sort of petrified look on his face.

"Do you think it could be here?" Neville's voice shakes but otherwise Harry thinks he knows that there is a piece of Dark Magic in here.

Picking up satchels and trying to avoid rusted nails proves to be tedious.

"Nev—" Neville is just sort-of gravitating around the room in search of something.

"What?" Neville holds his body with his ear out as though he's listening for something. Harry's mouth twitches.

"What are you doing?" Neville looks ridiculous going around like an airplane without wings.

"Can't you feel it?" Neville's voice is only a whisper.

Harry shakes his head. Neville doesn't see him. He is going near a woodpile and he starts moving it. Harry helps him to push it, but stands more to the side when Neville starts rubbing his hands on the stained floor.

"There's something under here."

Tapping his wand on it, Harry only manages to only crack the wood. Neville is still feeling around, his gentle gardener's hands trying to find something. Harry finds a crowbar that leaves orange rust on his fingers. Neville takes it and puts it in a specific crack, trying to rip open the floor.

When the floor has a hole in it, Neville begins to reach down. Harry grabs his arm.

"Don't." Harry tries to find something, with thoughts of the monster in the Orphanage in his mind. The tips of his fingers touch cold metal. He wraps his hand around it and pulls it out.

The Hufflepuff Cup is no longer gold, but a dull charred silver.

Neville's trembling.

Harry can feel the magic pulsating, but this is just feeling the beat of his own heart.

"Harry…"

"What does it feel like?" Harry feels so _normal, _if a tiny bit more than normal with this in his hand.

"Evil. Harry, we have to get rid of it." Neville has his scared but determined face on.

Harry nods. "Help me." Neville nods but looks confused. Harry grabs his hand.

"Show me how it feels." Harry knows now that a person can show by just touch a powerful feeling.

Neville closes his eyes, Harry can feel the Cup try to reject this. Harry tries and does accept.

Letting go of Neville, Harry furrows all those feelings into whatever of Voldemort's soul that is a part of him.

Harry can't feel any of the feelings his felt the last time, in fact the only feeling is of longing for whatever is inside of this thing. His hands shake every nerve in his hand is shot, the Cup cracks and black smoke that smells acidic comes out before it falls to the ground.

Both are quiet.

Neville lets out another sneeze.

---- ------


	11. Tidings

Chpt. 11

**Agaememnon:**

_What tidings do you bring?_

_Jean Racine_

"How did you figure this out again?" Seamus looking more confused than he did in the intial beginning. Harry sighs and goes off to explain once again.

"Neville felt it. He loaned me his magic to destroy it."

"You can't _loan magic." _Parvati says irritably. It strongly resembles Hermione.

"Listen, I have a connnection with Voldemort that obviously made it so that I can touch what he makes." He had Hermione and Ron once convinced it was his wand. However, he thinks Hermione's figured it out about what he is.

Parvati opens her mouth when the wards go off.

Ginny's standing there with Susan. Both have huge smiles on their faces, looking as though they're

going to explode with whatever it is they want to say.

"It was in Roses' and Rubies'' Ginny's red hair glints in the light, a shade lighter and not at all as curly as Percy's.

"Give it to Harry!" Seamus snaps. One part he's sure of.

Harry notices both Susan and Ginny have dragon hide gloves.

"I thought we should take precautions." Hermione murmurs to his right.

Harry picks up the locket.

--- ----

It feels like the silver around it shouldn't be there. As if there's wrapping around the actual locket. The other thing is the colour. The colour of all the others had been dark, dulled or lost all the proper colour.

With this though all of the falseness overrides it.

Harry begins to feel it. It feels angry, offended at _being put-upon like this because, why should it be? _It is beginnnig to make Harry angry too.

_This is something that should be admired and held with great esteem, not hidden away like this behind some false immitation!_

This silver around it breaks, the ruby falls out. The 'S' turns grey black, the chain charcoal.

Harry can nearly feel it when the glamour breaks, and the relief that comes over him is larger than he could ever imagine.

When the sudden change in atmosphere comes, Harry is close to not even aware of it.

_Normal. _

It feels normal to him. It's hard for him to think of destroying it. After all taking themagical core of this wouldike destroying a part of himself.

Harry's naturally a self-preservationalist. No matter what he'll not let himself be beat. The reason he's so far in in this game.

_There._

It's like looking into one of those prisms his old muggle teacher had one shown him. The rainbow lines, where each colour had a function. But where those colours went somewhere, these colours are being sucked to ruffle at Harry, recognizing but not liking, the too many colours Harry's brought with him.

Harry starts to push more colours in. Letting in the colours is not as hard as letting this black suffer. It hurts badly, but in a different way. In his being rather than physical. If years battling Voldemort hadn't made it easy for Harry to stand pain...

He finally does it. He can feel the colours dimmer and spread out.

With the image of a prism gone in his head Harry looks at his hand and sees the cracked locket.

He wipes at the sweat on his forehead. With a bloodstained thumb he throws the locket on 'Hermione's' desk.

Apparating home.

--- ----

Percy's clenching his teeth, the veins on his thrown back neck stick out.

Harry can't help moaning more at the sight, rotating his hips and allowing the sensation of fullness becomes erotic. When he allows himself the absolute pleasure of Percy's cock in _that _spot, he cries out and tightens.

Fingers are gripping his hips, and his own cock is rock hard. Sweat falls down his face and his glasses are threating to come off his face.

Harry leans back, letting Percy's hands control his hips, while he starts touching himself. Listening to the noises come from them, feeling the sun on his body...

Percy grabs at his knee, flipping over, Harry gasps when Percy's first thrust goes deeper. His leg high in the air, glasses gone. All he can hear is the grunts and groans not to mention the wet noises from between their bodies.

"Touch yourself."

Harry does. Wrapping his whole hand around it and meeting Percy thrust for thrust.

When he comes, he screams loudly enough that his throat hurts.

Bent in half and feeling the dirt and grass underneath him, Harry tries to regain his breath. He deliberatly tighten's to feel Percy come inside.

Its one of his favourite parts.

Percy always continues on after he comes. Until he can't. He lets down Harry's legs and slips out. Harry wraps his arms around Percy and kisses the pasty mouth.

He was too tired the last couple days to come home, sleeping at Grimmauld Place, so he ambushed Percy in the middle of the garden this morning.

"Hey!" Harry's struck by the idea.

"Hm."

"Why are you gardening?" As far as he knows Percy doesn't care about plants.

"Might as well. I can't read every book twice."

Harry grunts.

--- ----

"Harry, it's crazy to go seek out a giant snake alone." Seamus sounds upset. Most probably about not be included.

"I can talk to snakes." It would be easier for him to call danger. He really doesn't care about anyone's objections, he's going alone.

"Seamus is right, what if you get hurt?" Hermione's even lost reason.

Harry just stalks out of the room.

Neville is waiting for him, Harry gets ready to bark 'No'.

"Be safe, Harry."

**A/N: **This chapter is fairly short, mostly because in the last two chapters it is where the story reaches the climax.

Thank you to all the people who've shown interest in this.

Oh and the other thing to note is that I've begun prompt tables on Livejournal both 100 prompts, one pairing is incidently Harry/Percy, the other is Scorpius/Harry. I'll put the links on my profile soon considering the fact that until their finished I won't be able to post anywhere but there.


	12. Fields Of Sorrow

**The Fields Of Sorrow**

_They wander in deep woods, in mournful light, _

_Amid long reeds and drowsy-headed poppies,_

_And lakes where no wave laps, and voiceless streams,_

_Upon whose banks in the dim light grows old_

_Flowers that were once bewailed names of Kings._

_Ausonius_

He's tired. He's stuck in this motionless abide that he is finding there is no way to get out; it is not black and it is not white, but oddly it isn't the shady grey he's become accustomed to.

There should be silence but he can hear static of the world around him.

His head feels heavy, his mind in the clouds, every thought is gone and drifting into the air.

There's weight holding his bodiless consciousness down.

--- -----

His head is heavy and he can feel the glued pastiness of his mouth. He can taste the smell of his foul breath. He hates this familiar feeling. Awake but still dreaming. Dreaming. Dreaming.

He can't wake himself up.

This reminds him of the tormented feeling he would have wishing wishing for something. A _conne_c_ti_on with the aware world. He feels the thoughts of everything seep into the whiteness. The blackness. The shadows. Is there _anyone_ else stuck and lost in this dreaming?

Walls all over him. Voices muffled in a silent room.

Walls full of nothing. Walls that won't reveal the door.

He feels there someone is trying to get into his mind. He remembers that he can't let anyone into his mind. Because that wasn't the lesson.

_The lesson?_

There's a shooting pain in his mind while he's trying to remember what lesson... but there hasn't been any lessons lately.

_Have there?_

--- -----

He needs someone here. Someone who can't save him. Someone who won't try to save him.

Someone who dreams into the same walls, dreaming and accepting the dreams.

Inside the room full of walls he knows the feeling. That feeling of presence is missing. That person isn't here.

He's confused.

Confused.

_Were there any lessons?_

---- ------

He can smell this lemon scent. Citrus smell. He can feel his lips move. Though the words or silent in the feeling of _presence_. He can touch the place the smell is from, where the _presence _is felt.

But it's only inside these walls?

_Why not outs_ide?

--- ---

The first thing Harry is aware of when he wakes is the deep breathing in his chest. There are no immediate thoughts, breaking recent tradition he's very light headed while waking.

But there's the blurry image of Percy right in front of him most probably saying, 'Morning'. Mornings are when he wishes most that he could see without glasses.

He reaches up with both hands for his much desired morning kiss, hopefully Percy will crawl back into bed with him. Maybe he'll do nothing today. Laze around. Sometimes, even when one shouldn't it is nice to bask in misplaced bliss.

The kiss gives him a tingle.

He's quite the girl.

---- ---

The second thing Harry is made of aware when he wakes is that it is the second awakening.

One where he's more aware than he feels he wants to be with his glasses already on and the look of furious contempt on Bill Weasley's face.

Oddly he does get scared of Bill Weasley, even though he's aware that the older man will not harm him.

Maybe it's the scars. Reminds him of Moody.

He catches sight of the other Weasley's. Ron, and Mr. Weasley look expressionless. Hermione and Mrs. Weasley both have anxious looks on their faces.

Ginny slaps him across the face.

"My_ brother_, that's the most disgusting thing you could do!" His chest sinks as her flowery scent chokes him. He looks at the bend of his knees under the bed covers. The tears want to come up and take him over, but his mind feels numb and his body is exhausted.

"Is he your _plaything _Potter? Because you've never shown any attraction towards him before. I've been smelling it --" Bill snarls and sounds as though he's trying to regain his composure "Need to vent out your frustration is that it? Or do you plan to make your way through the family? Merlin knows Harry Potter can have anyone he wants--"

"Bill! Stop that!" Hermione's cries are what start up the yelling, and all of them are yelling at each other as if Harry's no longer apart of it.

He's never felt so sad in his life.

He doesn't even know he's sobbing until arms go around him and he's crying so loud that his chest is wheezing and he's coughing slightly.

His head hurts. His chest hurts.

He's so _tired._

--- -----

Percy had been in the room when all the Weasley's had been yelling at him. He didn't say a word.

Though they're at the cottage now. It doesn't matter. Harry's not sure if he can look Hermione in the face again after crying like he did. Though she sent him home with Percy, he can't help but feel even more lost.

"I love you." He whispers to his knees.

It's a long while before Percy says anything.

"Where the hell were you? You were gone for four months. I end up getting an owl from some Healer saying that you were calling for me." Percy gets up and stands in front of him. "Where were you, Harry?"

"I don't know." Another whisper. Because he doesn't know.

To be honest he can barely remember the day he left.

_Do you believe in Evil?_

He remembers thinking that at some point. Knowing that was the reason for his trip.

--- -----

The harsh breathing, bringing the skin up as an offering to warm lips.

Percy's hands are rough and unforgiving as he grips the back of Harry's thighs, snapping his hips and grunting loudly over Harry. The sensations are overwhelming for Harry whose whining and crying over the fullness and he loves it, as uncomfortable it is to be bent in half. It is however making it impossible to kiss Harry, despite it he still tries.

Twisting underneath the onslaught, moaning as the delicious feeling of having Percy inside him. Strangled cries for when Percy twists just so to hit that _thing _inside him, scrabbling at Percy's back for more of it. Keening as sweat drips down his face and he's having a hard time not to just scream and scream for more...

A brutal thrust sends him to a powerful release clinging to Percy as the man uses his body for more of his own pleasure. Gasping and panting for breath he distantly registers Percy own failing rhythms, shaking body as Harry can feel his cock start to pulse inside him.

This is what he's been wanting. From the moment he wanted this man.

--- ----

Breathing in short fast pants he feels the cooling touch of air on his skin. Forgetting the anger and the sadness that has plagued him since waking.

Instead smelling sweat, sex and the scent that comes off of Percy like an exotic perfume.

"Why did you come back?"

Harry's a little confused by the quiet question. Isn't it obvious? Isn't it clear?

"... Percy..."

"If you're fighting a war, you shouldn't get distracted. You shouldn't keep coming back until you've won." Percy has his eyes closed, his skin turning cold and wet.

"... What?" Harry's confused, his heart is pounding in his chest... he doesn't want Percy to say what he's going to say.

"Next time you leave, don't come back until it's over."

----- -----

The sky is blue, the clouds are white. There's no birds, no crickets or grasshoppers. Instead there's a boy named Harry.

A Not-So-Young-Boy-Named-Harry.

There's a grey boulder with black tar to his right. An old forgotten car tire to his left.

_Where do I go from here..._

Maybe he doesn't want to fight this war anymore. Maybe he doesn't want to be the hero, maybe he doesn't care about Peace or Justice... maybe he's tired... maybe he just wants to spend some time to be human.

Maybe he wants to be a child again. Not fighting demons.

Not fighting himself.

----- ----


	13. A Neutral State in Hell

A/N: It's been a ridiculous amount of time since I've updated, and I apologize. I've been going through that phase where I don't want to write anything, and everything I do write is a rambling mess that never reaches any coherent thought. There's that, and then there's the fact I've always had a lot more fun reading than writing.

But here's to everyone who's been patiently waiting. Something curious to write down more for my own sake than yours is that I'm writing this on October 17th 2010 with the intention of finishing it sometime within the next five years. Haha _with the intention_ key words right there. I'll be editing the previous chapters, but only the spelling and if I can figure it out the grammar (Christ, I've changed man, I've changed.), the content won't be involving any of DH. I started writing this before that came out and I have no intention of changing anything to fit it in.

I also should note that this is the last chapter. And it's completely offset from the other chapters. I think what happened, is that I built the story up to this **fantastic** ending. However, I failed.

But hopefully you enjoy it, and I am open to changing some things, if I get enough input to do it. After all in my editing and grammar project, I also want to be critiquing on the other things the contribute to a shitty story.

So please, be narrow-minded.

XXXX

Chapter 13:

_The hottest places in hell are reserved for those, who in a time of great moral crisis remain neutral._

_Dante_

The problem – is that he wasn't born into this. No one's born to be a hero. No one's born to do what exactly everyone thinks they should do. No one's born to be evil, no one's born to be good.

And _he_, Harry James Potter, wasn't born to be a hero.

Percy can think this. Percy can advocate this.

But it doesn't mean that Percy is right.

It's horrible, being the one left behind. Its horrible sitting inside a cabin you didn't like _then_ and you certainly don't like it now... waiting for someone.

Waiting for _him. _

It makes you sick to your stomach; it makes it twist and turn. It makes all the food you attempt to eat imprison itself to the back of your throat. And through it all, you remember the words you said,

_"Next time you leave, don't come back until it's over."_

For some reason, a part of you wasn't expecting him to be gone the next morning. A part of you thought he would be self conscious enough to think you'd never take him back if he did come back. A part of you thought he would be selfish enough to never let you go. A part of you thought... he would be too afraid to die.

XXXX

You can't help but think of what happened that led up to you being the Chosen One's hidden away lover.

You can't help but regret it.

You can't help but triumph it.

Of all the people in the world, it seems like you won the greatest title. After all, if he doesn't come back you'll forever hold the title of _his one true love_. And if he does come back, he'll think of you as _his one true love_.

Does it make you a terrible person? This ability you've had since the first time you let him sleep in your bed. This ability to hold in the palm of your hand, the one person everyone in the world has wanted? This ability to break the one person even the most powerful and dangerous could not break?

You _know _this makes you a terrible person. You _know_ that had he'd fallen in love with someone else, they would have treated him like a king. Like a hero.

Not you. No, you'll treat him as a subordinate, as someone who is just another simple human being. You'd have treated him, if things hadn't gotten so confusing, as just a boy who had a homosexual crush on you.

Because you're not gay. You're not a homosexual. You've never experienced any of that before him. Had things not gotten so strange, and you not so lonely, and flattered, and possessive... you would have politely declined the sentiments. You would have politely and diplomatically told him that you weren't inclined but you could introduce him to good men who were. Perhaps someone his own age? Perhaps someone of the Muggle World even? Of course, you don't know anyone from the Muggle World but you'd have researched and screened just for him.

After all, even if things hadn't come to what has come. You wouldn't have turned down a service to the Boy-Who-Lived.

XXX

You've started to daydream about his body.

You've started to refuse to think about his face.

That face you memorized the moment the Hat was lifted off his strangely skinny face. You had every detail of it filed away in the back of your head. From the time he was eleven to the time you last traced it sleeping beside your head. A face that wasn't like anyone else's to compare, to contrast. It was normal, it wasn't different. Other than that mark, that same mark you cringed and were shamefully disgusted by. Only you hoped he wouldn't notice how you feared it. How you tried most time to avoid any direct contact with it.

Instead you think about that body, that small underfed pale slightly scarred torso. The tense back with its muscles straining under your weight... the tightness of his body as those shoulder's push back far enough that you can kiss the sweat. Bury your face in the cool dampness and cry and clutch with all your strength...

Lately you can't stop thinking about how you _owned _that body. How that body was only yours. How it could never _be _, will _never be_ anyone else's.

Lately you can't stop craving that body. In your mind there's this obsessive thought centering on the perverse about that body. The paleness of it. The absolute pleasure of it as you wrapped yourself tightly around. The knowledge that no other man, no other person was ever allowed to touch it the way you could, the way he _begged_ you to touch it. The taste of his sweat on your lips, the absolute _power_...

Power.

Maybe you're a horrible person because, what could be more horrible than holding dear the power that came from _fucking _Harry Potter? The Harry Potter. The Boy-Hero-Of-The-Wizarding-World.

Percy Ignatius Weasley, got to do that.

Percy Ignatius Weasley, was the only one who got to do that.

Today you must have wanked off at least four times thinking about that body. Four times thinking about how he cried out, sobbed your name and came all without being touched. Two times you were left today, thinking and panting with no self control about how brutal you could be with him, and he'd still be begging. Crying for more as you treated as some sort of rag doll...

You may not be a homosexual, but for something like that, even if things hadn't gone the way they had gone, you'd have been foolish not to indulge.

Today, when you stare at your own body, you wonder what he ever thought of you. You know he must have liked what he saw, tasted and felt. You know he must've wanted everything your body could have given him. You _know _he wanted you.

But you're not athletic, handsome or charming. You have the body of a secretary, the personality of a beauricrat, and the attitude of a Socrate. When you allow yourself to think of it, you think you're an older replacement of your brother. The one who is by _his_ side, through thick and thin. When you allow yourself to think of it, you think that you're in the same place as your sister before you... only this time the gender is closer to the mark.

Today, you let yourself hate him for using you to be someone else.

Today, you let yourself lie.

Because the truth is... well, even though it's sweeter and better, makes your heart hurt even more.

XXX

You don't like this house.

But you made sure he never knew that.

It's a stupid little cabin. It's one your mother may have wanted when she was a little girl and thinking about her prince charming.

Only little girls grow out of those silly dreams. With their silly little houses, for bigger more realistic dreams, and less nauseating little houses.

You didn't like this cabin in the beginning because of the trimmings on the outside. They remind you of pink doilies and little toady ladies in love with kittens. You didn't like it, not because you're a man, but because only desperate little women like houses no one would step in.

Only, you would never tell him that.

Because, you _know _he didn't think of the cabin as pretty or ugly. He thought of it as just a place for the both of you to live. You know this because it only has one little room with a bed barely big enough for the both of you. You know this because he made sure it was big enough for you, but not so big that it was too big for him.

When the sun shines in the living room, you see the dust flying around in the air, and you think that with him not here, it may be too big for you. Before this moment, nothing was ever too big for you. Whether it be a task or the space inside a room.

You don't like this little cabin, because you know you don't want a happy ending. You know that maybe a happy ending in your story just means that evil is destroyed. But for you, it may not be such a happy ending.

You don't like this little cabin, because it's nauseating to think that there may have been someone, at some point happy enough to build it.

XXXX

Outside.

Outside.

It's only marginally better.

It's only a little more bearable.

Because maybe standing outside means that you're almost doing _something._

Because at least outside, you don't feel like you're _waiting_.

Instead you feel like you could go out and go running. To him, away from him, it doesn't matter so long as it has something to do with _him_.

XXXX

You hate him.

You've hated him for awhile.

You hate him for loving you.

You hate him because having him love you, spoils you for anyone else.

You hate him because having him love you, you're afraid you're in love with him.

You hate him because he's dead.

And if he's not dead yet, he will be.

The Hero always dies.

XXXX

Last night you cried. You cried.

_Coward_.

Does he cry? Does he ever cry about dying on you?

Does he ever think of it that way? Would he have ever stayed, hidden away with you?

Did he know you only fell in love with him the day you sent him away?

Did he know how satisfied it made you feel to have him in love with you?

Last night you cried. Last night was the worst night since he went away. You cried because you kept thinking about how you made him promise to stay away. You cried because you know he may never come back. You cried because you felt your heart break.

Unlike last night though. This morning you thought,

What would happen if you went to him?

Or to anyone? To anything?

Is there somewhere you could be that isn't this house? Isn't this place?

Isn't there a war going on?

Aren't there people out there dying?

Can't you be doing something than wait for someone who may never come?

This morning, was better than last night.

Until you decided to stay and wait.

For that person who you sent away.

XXXXX

When he said your name for the first time, he was eleven years old. You felt really important, you felt like you really had a shot at being the Minister for Magic because The-Boy-Who-Lived knew your name. When he said your name you pretended for a long time like you weren't his best friend's older brother, but that you were someone well on your way. When he said your name you acted like you'd never spent your childhood dreaming of him.

When he began treating you like your brothers did, you barely noticed. By then he had become just an extension of your baby brother. Kids. Immature children who needed to be protected. By the ministry no less. When you began to become the person you had always wanted to be, he had stopped being a legend. He had started to be labelled as _stark raving mad_.

You'll never apologize for what you did. The protection you tried to give your baby brother. You'll never apologize because you were jealous.

Jealousy. It always made you petty. It'll never be any different. You are a petty human being. Which is why this monopolization of him is so much sweeter than whatever love either of you can give.

You own him.

And if he does come back... everyone has to know this.

The people who do know. It's good that they know. The disgust on their face as they stared at you across his hospital bed spoke volumes. Disbelief, enough of it that you felt more than satisfied.

Jealousy. You always were a petty human being.

Your sister cried. You saw her eyes.

You felt bad. But you also wanted to rub it in her face. Because she didn't like you. Maybe no one but your mum ever did. They loved you. Just like _him_. But they didn't like you.

Does he like you?

He didn't used to.

Your oldest brother liked you. Probably because he thought you tried to be him. They all thought that your wanting to be Head Boy was so that you could be just like your oldest brother. 'Cause you certainly couldn't be a Quidditch Captain.

You never wanted to be your brothers.

You wanted to be better than your brothers. Better than any Weasley had ever been.

Your oldest brother thought that you were being manipulated. Because your oldest brother still thought you hero worshipped _him_. But you didn't. You never hero worshipped anyone but the label of Minister for Magic.

Your plan was to be your own hero.

You knew your brother thought you were whoring yourself out.

You knew your brother didn't know he was wrong. Didn't know that it was nearly the opposite way.

_He_ didn't need to whore himself out to you. But he did. Because he thought that you'd fall in love.

He was right.

You're not a homosexual. But for him, it turns out you could be.

XXXX

You think that if you could find a Time Turner and go back to that moment, you'd let him leave.

That moment when you tried to tell him that you couldn't kiss him back.

That moment when you held him down and stole his body, despite his protests.

That moment when you still refuse to see as _you_ _starting _the torrid affair. After all he kissed you first. He touched you first. He wanted you first.

It only seemed right that you'd want him back.

XXXX

You feel the wards shake before you hear the voice and you don't bother to turn around,

"So this is where he keeps you."

You feel your chest fill. You feel your heart ache. You feel your face turn red. You feel your whole body curl...

"Harry's still out there fighting. While you just hole yourself up here."

You feel relief. You feel shame. You feel a thousand things at once. But you still don't turn around.

"I don't much like you right now. But because Harry obviously likes you, I think you should be there." An intake of air. "Just in case."

You feel shame.

You feel ashamed.

"Percy. If he does die, I want him to die, having said goodbye to you."

For some reason her voice makes you angry. So angry.

Your throat is tight. So tight it hurts to talk.

"Then he better not die. You better leave Granger, after all you're supposed to be fighting next to him."

_Shame._

XXXX

After a while. After a long while, you forget that you're waiting for someone.

After a while you forget that you're a stubborn possessive beauracrat. After a while, you forget all the horrible things you did in life. All the things you never bothered to hold yourself accountable for.

After a while you just learn to breathe.

Then one day.

One day...

He's there.

The face of a dead man.

A man supposed to be dead. But he's there.

He's there.

You don't know what the look on your face must be, you think that you must look like you're about to faint because the hallowed out face, the impossibly green eyes, everything is twisted into concern.

And all you can do is hate him for making you wait.

And all you can do is diplomatically let him kiss you, despite the fact he has a scraggly beard. All you can do is try to stay from being angry that he had time to go and clean somewhere before coming here to you.

All you can do is think that maybe being selfish, petty and stubborn... isn't such a horrible way to be.

Because if you weren't such a horrible person, he wouldn't have wanted you. He wouldn't have attempted to stay all those time before. He wouldn't have done his best to get back to you.

You remember something you said to him the first night he spent with you.

"_What would you do?"_

"_I would leap, not hesitating with a jump"_

Only you _know_, that what you said was a lie.

XXXX

The end.


End file.
